exsequar: (Brothers Winchester)
Last night I went to a fundraiser held by the graduate school. It was a night at a club that's usually very skeevy and filled with under-clothed or creepy undergrads, but because it's "spring" break would be just grad students. This place is a bit of a local myth so I figured I had to experience it at least once. Plus the cover went to Habitat for Humanity, so win win! A lot of people from my program showed, including many of my faves, so I had a blast getting a bit too drunk and dancing myself silly. Matt is apparently a fantastic swing dancer - who knew?

Some time pretty late, I was sitting in a corner with my roomie, taking a break from dancing and thinking blearily about going home, when suddenly a guy sits down. He starts talking. I blink, lean towards him, and say, "Where are you from?" He replies, "Ireland!"

AHHHHH.

So of course we talked for ages and it turns out he went to Trinity *at the same time I did* and WE HAVE FRIENDS IN DUBLIN IN COMMON. Not many, and not close friends, but enough that it kind of blew my mind. What the hell are the odds?

It was so wonderful to reminisce about Dublin and Trinity with someone who knows and loves them too. He's getting his PhD in Economics here in the hopes of becoming a professor at Trinity. It was also wonderful hearing his delightful accent rolling out "grand" and "bollocks". Oh my gosh it was delightful. We even bonded over Father Ted! He was cute enough, a bit awkward looking but just very.... IRISH, so you know, I'm easy for that. I wouldn't say we were sparking exactly (unfortunately!) but it was just a wonderful conversation. I got his number but he hasn't replied to a couple texts I've sent, soooo I dunno.

BUT THEN TONIGHT. I went to my friend's house for his weekly potluck, which I go to all the time. It was mostly familiar faces but there was one guy I didn't recognize. Somehow it came up that his roommate was Irish, and I was like oh, where's he from, blah blah, I show interest in all Irish people. But later on, the guy mentioned something about economics and I was like, hang on. What's your roommate's name?

OH YEAH. IT WAS THE GUY I MET. WHAT?!?

So basically life is shoving this guy in my face. However it doesn't seem like he's interested? I don't care about that so much, I'd really just love to have coffee with him and hear his voice when there isn't pounding club music and I'm not half hammered. We'll see. But regardless, it was a wacky and wonderful chain of events.
Mood:: 'enthralled' enthralled
exsequar: (Girlyrock - MCR - Gee faaairy princess)
I've been floating on a cloud of YAY I'M IN JASON'S LAB YAY YAY YAY! Unfortunately, my current reality isn't quite that awesome and consists of fucking up experiments and a really really shitty group project that I honestly don't know how well we're going to do on. Ugh. So thank god he said yes or else I would be an utter wreck right now. I'm just clinging to it - I'm IN JASON'S LAB! Officially! He even sent out an email today about new lab photos and I was on the email! :DDDDDD

Today has not been a decent Saturday of any kind. I woke up, ate breakfast, went to lab from 2 to 8 PM, ugh, came home, went to grocery store, and worked on aforementioned group project, in the process stressing myself out so badly that I chewed on my fingernails until they all ache and it actually hurts to type. WONDERFUL. Now it's 1:30 AM and I'm exhausted but trying to get through Doctor Who without falling asleep because OMG IT'S AMAAAZING!!!

Tomorrow should be nice though - brunch in Detroit with one branch of my family, then back to Ann Arbor for dinner with another branch! Good times and good food. :D

Although that means no time to work on STUPID PROJECT ARGH. The only good thing about this project is that the one other person in the group actually doing work is this insanely pretty guy. I mean, he would not be out of place on television for us to swoon over. The other day he came to class having not shaved and he had the most exquisite stubble, like Ron Liv's 5 o'clock shadow, and I was captivated. It was kind of a problem. He also has these super blue eyes with long black lashes and a smile to die for... unf. Unfortunately, he's kind of not really my type at all, being from Connecticut and you can TELL. Like, he should be a lawyer with the way he talks sometimes. Gah, I don't know. He sure is purty to look at. And we commiserate about how awful our group is, so that's fun. :P

Random question: how do we feel about the new Youtube layout? Overall I feel it's quite functional, but why did they get rid of the starred rating system? Also, there's no way to tell how many comments there are on a video. They're strange changes that I don't quite get! Overall it does look more streamlined though.

I've been reading a lot of my old entries about just before Dublin and then during. That encompasses my slide into bandom, which is hilarious to watch - did you know at one point I genuinely, honestly thought Gerard and Brendon were gay? LOL. Oh, naive little self. I also thought Frank was the lead guitarist of MCR, gasp! Sacrilege. And it's weird to read myself squealing about Ryan when I really don't like him anymore. Anyway, the beginning of Dublin stuff is even more interesting, to see how different I was. It's very pronounced, actually. Which I knew, but it's awesome to have LJ as a concrete record of that. I hope I keep my LJ archives for my whole life, it's such a potent piece of personal history.

And I need some advice - does anyone have any ideas on the best way to get from either NYC or Philly to Cleveland without a car? I've checked plane, bus, and train, and everything either has wacky layovers (ATLANTA?!) or detours or just takes bloody forever, and it just seems so STUPID. Fucking American public transportation. Or the lack thereof. So any thoughts as to ways I could work that out so it isn't soul-crushingly horrible?

Finally, in Twitter Continues To Be Awesome, Brian Schechter responded to my Twitter-stalking for once. And I just - ahahaha, what.



Love him! He's such a dork. I totally get why he and the MCR boys got along like gangbusters. ♥

Augh so tired. Happy Easter, to all who celebrate! I hope you have lovely days.
Mood:: 'sleepy' sleepy
exsequar: (Default)
In NEWS OF AWESOMENESS, I have almost-concrete plans to go back to Dublin! YAAAAAY! With Cary and Emily, two of my American friends from my year in Dublin! YAAAAAAAAAAY!

*does the boogie dance of I'm-going-back-to-Dublin-YAY* You WISH you could see this dance!

For all newcomers to this here corner of the internet (I'm so sorry to the vets! At least I haven't rambled about Dublin in the recent past?), a brief recap: from 2007-08, I spent 9 months studying abroad at Trinity College Dublin, studying chemistry/biochemistry. I lived in a posh apartment in downtown Dublin, met dozens of wonderful Irish folks who became literally some of my best friends in the world, met 4 American girls who formed a very close pod of awesomeness and with whom I still keep in touch almost daily, had more life experiences than I have in my other 20 years of life combined, and kinda-sorta-maybe fell a little bit in love... with the city, with a boy, with the person I discovered inside myself when I was there. The before and after photos of my soul would be striking - Before Dublin (B.D.) I was withdrawn, shy, lonely, and wracked by self-consciousness and self-doubt, but After Dublin (A.D.) I was confident, assertive, bold, and happy. I emerged a different person, complete with a whole new passel of friends who accepted me completely for who I was. They still keep me going on a day-to-day basis.

I cannot say enough about the transformative and joyful nature of that experience. I have said loads in the past - if you are at all curious, my "dublin" tag has all the dirty details (including the sordid accounts of eleven ~encounters with Irish boys. Mm hmmmmm ;) My first kiss was from a red-headed Irish boy in a pub while drunk on Guinness during my first week in Dublin - top THAT) and my "dublin - missing" tag has all the nostalgia and reflection. I have often gone back and read those entries in order to recapture even just a fraction of the joy I felt while writing them.

SO ANYWAY, I went back to Dublin last May, and it was everything I remembered and more. I've resolved to make Dublin returns an annual thing whenever possible, a biannual (as in, every other year) thing when not. This year, I was going to try to go with the 4 American girls mentioned above. Unfortunately, a couple people have fallen through, but it looks like 3 of us are going to be able to go at the same time! We'll only overlap a couple days, but they'll be a GREAT couple of days (I haven't seen these girls since August 2008!!!) and then I will stay about a week longer to see my Irish loves (most of them are still there doing PhDs, Masters, or working). It is the MOST EXCITING EVER and I am practically vibrating out of my skin with anticipation.

THE CAVEAT: This plan hinges pretty sharply on whether or not Jason accepts me into his lab. If he does, I am 95% certain that he will totally okay this plan and everything will move ahead smoothly. If he does not, the problem is twofold: I will have to work hard to find another advisor I want to work with, and also I have absolutely no way of knowing if that person would be amenable to me taking a week off to fly to Europe during my rotation.

SO. In short. I am so fucking nervous about Jason's decision I could puke. The ramifications go FAR FAR beyond my trip to Dublin. If Jason accepts me, I will have a wonderful graduate experience and get to do science I am truly excited about. If he doesn't - I honestly don't have a clear alternative at the moment. FML.

I just emailed Jason about setting up a meeting. It's likely the meeting will occur within the next week or two.

Everyone cross all of your appendages, pray to whatever deities you believe in, and send good vibes my way, will you? ♥
Mood:: 'nervous' nervous
exsequar: (Girlyrock - MCR - G/L sinking world)
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YES!!!1!11! I ran into GERARD WAY and LYNZ WAY on the street in Dublin! This story seriously never gets old. (Apologies to everyone who's heard it before - which is most of you!) I had just FLOWN to London to see both of their bands play, had the best night of my life watching that, and then I was back in Dublin, walking back to my apartment a couple days later, and BAM, there they were! I crossed a street WITHOUT LOOKING to get to them (seriously, my brain was not functioning!) and said "Excuse me, Gerard Way?" He turned around and said "Yes?" and I said "Hi, I was at your show in London last night!" and he said "Rock on!" and held his hand out to shake mine. LSDKJFSLKDJF GERARDDD YOUR FACE. There followed an at least 5-minute conversation (things are blurry!) in which they noticed I was American and I bonded with LynZ over being from Connecticut. They also asked about things a tourist could do because they were wondering where they should go (!!!!), so I rambled at them forever about Grafton and O'Connell streets. IT WAS AMAZING and still makes me happy to talk about/think about. Sometimes when things are rough, I tell myself, "Self, YOU MET GERARD WAY. Everything is fine!"

Ahem. So, basically, the number one person on my Want To Meet list, and I got 5 minutes of his undivided attention, WITH his lovely wife! Ahhhhhh. I feel like life used up its good karma giving me that one, haha. But I am fine with that! :D
Mood:: 'giggly' giggly
exsequar: (Dublin - wifey)
posted by [personal profile] exsequar at 11:57pm on 08/10/2009 under , ,
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you guessed that sound can only mean DUBLIN RELATED GLEE, then you are QUITE CORRECT! (The only time I get THIS EXCITED is about Dublin, for future reference! Hee.)

Okay, so! There's this company that offers short term apartment rentals in various countries.

THEY HAVE MY OLD APARTMENT BUILDING IN CENTRAL DUBLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT. OMG. WHAT.

You guys.

I CAN GO HOME.

I'm pretty sure I can't express how unspeakably thrilling this idea is. That place.... that city holds my heart, and that building is where it grew 20 sizes. I lived there for 9 months, I loved, I laughed, I cried, I threw parties and experienced things and people and met and lived with some of my best friends in the entire world.

One of those friends, Emily, found this link and proposed that we all (five of us) go back next summer. FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A rent of ~120 Euro a night, split between five people, is basically hostel level, and we could stay for at least a week and be within walking distance of all our favorite places, and just relive the magic.

I AM SO OVERCOME. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Music:: Glee Cast - Take A Bow | Powered by Last.fm
exsequar: (Dublin at night)
posted by [personal profile] exsequar at 08:21pm on 29/06/2009 under , , ,
I love this lyric from Something Corporate's "Little":
And little holes in parachutes
Won't leave you falling
If they do
It's because you wanna land.

It's just a really neat way to express an interesting idea - if you let little problems get in the way of achieving something, you're probably self-sabotaging in a certain way. I always liked SoCo better than Jack's Mannequin, I must say!

Let's have a meme! [livejournal.com profile] imntsaying proposed that we picspam five things we love. Here we go! )

You all should do it too! Spread the love! ♥
exsequar: (Dublin at night)
Order of business the first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] kashmir1!!!! You are a darling and such a brave soul, and I admire you so very much. I love you sweetie and I hope you have a wonderful day.

The second: HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] caithream!!!! You are such a sparkly and awesome person, you always make me smile, and I'm so glad we met at Wincon!

The third: I started watching Castle with Michelle! It is SO adorable. I think Nathan Fillion is the only person who could make this character adorable instead of repugnant, but whatever, it works. My favorite part of the show is his family - so unconventional and hilarious! The plots are a little eyebrow-raising, but it's hard to be original in a world inundated with crime procedurals. In any case, Nathan is infinitely adorable and I am very pleased. Thumbs up!

The fourth: I had the most lovely conversation with my Louise (friend from Dublin) this morning. It went thusly:
Louise: it a really good time to come because we will all be on that high
we might actualy explode
Louise: Anne-exams=explosion
me: hee, that was the idea!
Louise: BOOM!
Louise: :D
Louise: everyone is glad you're coming back doll, we miss ya lots
me: aw, thank you sweetheart. that really means a lot.
me: it kind of keeps me going :)
Louise: you really are loved here Anne, you're our American gal! Not just a blow in the wind from across the pond!
me: and i love you all, so very much! I feel at home with you crazy Irish folks
Louise: sure once you catch our craziness your done for life!
and later...
Louise: of course you wont! We'll always be here, and you'll ALWAYS have a place here.
To steal a most eloquent expression from [livejournal.com profile] wasoncedelight,

♥_______;

The fifth: [livejournal.com profile] tuesdaysgone and [livejournal.com profile] discord_harmony, see my last post about The Used! :)
Mood:: 'loved' loved
exsequar: (Misc Molecules I get!)
'Ello loves!

I am safely returned from Salt Lake City. Today was a little miserable only because I couldn't afford to feed myself. Um. I had a complimentary donut at the hotel for breakfast, $2 peanut M&Ms and the complimentary cookies on the plane for lunch, and didn't have real food until about 6 PM. At which point I was literally dizzy and was so hungry that licking plain mayonnaise off my finger was like heaven. IT WAS KIND OF BAD. Hopefully there will be a paycheck waiting in my mailbox tomorrow so that that does not occur again. o.O

Tales from a chemistry conference. )

Ever since my mom said she's committed to sending me to Dublin in June (!!!! :D) I have been thinking all the time about my Dublin loves. I thought a lot today about what it felt like that day I left. Holding and crying with Paddy and Lou. Breathing in Dara's comforting scent for the last time. Lying on my bed in Niall's arms, crying quietly. Kissing Kate's tears from her cheeks. Conor and Mark and Niall running up the street to say goodbye just before my bus left. Clutching Niall's hand and weeping for the entire 20 minute bus ride. My flight getting canceled and spending my entire evening in the hotel room calling Dara and Niall and Kate and saying calmer goodbyes. It was the hardest day of my life, but there's a sort of bittersweetness to it, because there were so many people who felt pain at my leaving, who cared that I was not going to be in their lives anymore. And now I get to go back to them, have the breath squeezed out of me by dozens of warm hugs, and feel so very loved again.

I simply can't wait. :)
Mood:: 'calm' calm
Music:: Lily Allen - Who'd Have Known | Powered by Last.fm
exsequar: (Dublin at night)
posted by [personal profile] exsequar at 12:29am on 23/03/2009 under , , ,
I got to chat with Dara for an hour and a half tonight. If anyone's curious, he still makes me go like this:

:D

He apparently has a new girlfriend, and I was pleasantly surprised at how little that upset me. I have apparently been able to divest myself of inappropriately-smitten-and-possessive while still retaining all of my vast fondness. This is excellent. \o/

I asked how his band is going, and he said they're a little stalled since their bassist is in England. So in the meantime he's trying to put together ANOTHER band. I adore how much he loves playing guitar. I still haven't seen him play, but I fully intend to rectify that when I GO BACK TO DUBLIN!!!! I requested All Along the Watchtower, if he can make his band do it, and he was very excited. If I actually get him playing that as a coming-back-to-Dublin present, I will die of glee.

Heeeeee. &DARA;
Mood:: 'happy' happy
exsequar: (Dublin at night)
Good morning flist! I'm nomming on Honey Nut Bunches of Oats and mango orange juice (seriously, NOM NOM) and chillin out in my peace frog PJ pants and MCR hoodie, blasting Flyleaf and generally just enjoying life.

How are you? :)

The problem with having glorious, lazy breaks is that life doesn't *actually* stand still, and you're always inevitably not doing SOMETHING you should be. For me it's grad school apps. I've got two left, both due the 15th, and both very annoying their own, special ways. Rar. I'm going to try to get Johns Hopkins done today.

I've been thinking a lot about Dublin lately... yes still. The amount of memories I have from that year is kind of staggering. It seems almost like every single day brought something new and exciting. From running across O'Connell Bridge in the rain with Dara and Paul, to touching a mummy's hand in the crypt below St. Michans with Ian, to drinking rum out of a watermelon on the cricket pitch at Trinity with Roisin and her friends, I could go on. Those are just the ones that pop immediately to mind. I miss it :-/

My baby Macbook is currently at the Genius Bar getting extensive (and expensive) physical repairs done. I dropped it and broke the hinge almost exactly a year ago, while I was at [livejournal.com profile] theaeblackthorn's place in Brighton, and ever since then the screen has only stayed upright very precariously. I think because of the broken hinges, the casing around the screen and the power button got distorted and started to crack open. So I think it was time to bring her to the doctor :-/ I'm using my dad's lovely iMac desktop at home until I get her back. She'll be like a new computer!

I think today I am going to work some on my Merlin video. Oh what a hardship :D

Oh oh, I just bought (another) copy of George R.R. Martin's "A Game of Thrones" because I started reading it at Meg's and was immediately addicted. I read it once years ago, but I am so excited to devour it all again. I gave my copy to Jeremy, because he expressed an interest, but I bet he hasn't even opened it :P Oops! Anyway, I'm LOVING it. Gritty high fantasy, come to meeee!
Mood:: 'relaxed' relaxed
exsequar: (Merlin - cutiepie)
I just wanted to say a quick few words about 2008. All the economic shitstorm and what have you at the end here is casting a pall over the year as a whole, but it was really something special for me... at least at the beginning. The year was quite cruelly split in half for me, so it's hard to remember that Dublin really WAS part of this year. At the same time, it seems a million years ago, or that it lasted just the blink of an eye. Being in Dublin felt like taking a vacation from my own life, or conversely actually living my life for the first time. The memories are so vivid and gorgeous and intense that just looking at a couple pictures can bring everything rushing back and cause tears to prick at my eyes. The first three months of 2008 were easily the best of my life. It was the middle term (Michaelmas) of Trinity's school year, and I didn't have any labs to do, so I was free as a bird. I went to lectures and that was it. So I had endless expanses of free time which I used quite fruitfully. I was going out with my friends and having a blast at least twice a week, and during that time I was becoming extremely close to Kate, Emily, Cary, and Megan. I wasn't dating anyone (I was between Colin and James) so I was just... free. I cannot remember another time when I felt that happy and vibrant and alive. Then my best friend Michelle came to visit me in Dublin, followed immediately by my dad and sister, which was so so much fun. Niall and Laura's birthdays, St. Paddy's Day, Father Ted Night, going to Germany, Belfast, Cardiff, Brighton, and Oxford, endless hours of Guitar Hero, nights at The Pav or Fibbers or The Porterhouse or Doyles, throwing fantastic house parties, the PERFECT last week full of friends and joy... my memories are legion. Niall, Paddy, Lou, Dara, Barry, Bren, Niall C, James, Paul, Sinead, Sarah. It hurts my stomach to not be there anymore, but I will always treasure the memory and the people that are in my life because of Dublin.

*deep breath* Then I came home, and immediately had to start my lab job at my college. I was depressed but determined to make the best of being here... it only kind of worked. The school year started and I was thrust into some of the most intense and constant work I have ever had to accomplish. I also met Jeremy Moss. Oh yeah, and we elected a man that I truly believe in to the presidency. It was a weird, reclusive semester that is such a polar opposite to all that I just described about Dublin. I think I'm still trying to recover my equilibrium. But now I'm heading into my last semester of college, gearing up for grad school, and I don't even know where my head's at. Sometimes I feel impossibly old and grown up, sometimes I feel like a stumbling, naive little child. I'm both excited and scared of what 2009 will bring. I know that nothing will ever be Dublin again (though I do hope I'll make it back this summer) but I do hope that the growing I did in Dublin will serve me in good stead as I try to find my footing.

And that's enough of that! Dublin has been on my mind a lot lately... I think I just needed to talk about it some.

On a completely different note, I have been thinking a lot about vidding lately! I've made three music videos (Harry Potter, Buffy, and Supernatural) and I love all of them so much. I just don't have the tools anymore - the last time I did it I used my PC laptop and actually went through all the complicated crap to get Premiere working. But now I've got a Mac and I don't really want to go through the ridiculous process of downloading and figuring out Final Cut Pro. So I'm playing around with iMovie just to see what happens.

The idea I'm working with? A Merlin vid set to "I Just Can't Wait to be King". YEAH. I think Rob suggested it as a joke while he was watching with me and Michelle, and Michelle and I were like "....YES!" and now it won't leave my head! I started converting and organizing and clipping stuff last night. Who knows if I'll actually follow through with it! But it's just such an awesome idea, and Merlin has the really nice benefit of very limited source material, that I can't not *try*. Heehee.

A side effect of getting back in the vidding mindset is that I keep thinking of songs I listen to as potential vidding songs. I was listening to Pink's (I refuse to call her P!nk) latest album, and the song "Please Don't Leave Me" hit me as hilariously appropriate for Merlin and Arthur. Just read these lyrics! )
Seriously, it's lolariously PERFECT. Semi-emo, just like preshface Arthur, but the music has this fun bouncy thing going on that I think would go well with the show. And, my perfect little punching bag. Ahahaha. I don't even know. I just know that it's PERFECT. <3

A couple fun things from today - I chatted with Jeremy on AIM tonight! Just for about 15 minutes, but it was really nice cause I've been missing him. Also, I got a voicemail today from my uncle's sister - she works for the National Institutes of Health and their Graduate Partnership Program. My uncle gave her my CV, and apparently she's really interested, or else she wouldn't be calling, especially since their application deadline was in December! She said she's going out of the country but she's passing me on to someone else in her office, so I'll probably be hearing from them soon. I have no idea if anything would come of it (the GPP is basically where you enroll at a university for your PhD and do courses there, but then do your dissertation research with a mentor at the NIH) but it's still really cool that my CV was apparently that impressive. Gives me good hope for my grad school apps! Which I still need to finish, rar.

I am so relaxed and unstressed right now - I'd forgotten what this feels like. *HAPPY SIGH*
Music:: P!nk - 13 This Is How It Goes Down | Powered by Last.fm
Mood:: 'content' content
exsequar: (Dublin at night)
[livejournal.com profile] rain_dances's post about leaving San Jose (:( I'm sorry sweetie) compelled me to take a look at what Lonely Planet has to say about my fair Dublin, and...

Yes, this. Exactly.

I'm so glad I wasn't imagining it. Dubliners are the most wonderful people ever. SIGH CAN I GO BACK?

Today is going to be an awful day. I have to spend every second I can force myself to studying for my biochem final. He gave us 6 multipart questions, 2 or 3 of which will be on the final so we have to do them all. I've "gotten through" 3 of them, which means gotten semi-acceptable answers for most of the parts, I'm COMPLETELY STUCK on one, and need to tackle the last two. This does not even begin to approach reading all my notes, studying other peoples' presentations because there will be a question on those, and freaking the fuck out in general.

D: D: D: D:

(PS Michelle and I have gotten to 1x10 of Merlin. IT HAS GOTTEN SO GOOD!!!!! The last, like, FIVE episodes have been AMAZING. I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH *FLAPS HANDS*. I will flail in detail later because obviously no time nowwww ugh.)
Mood:: 'anxious' anxious
exsequar: (BSG Kara laughing bw)
I hate lab reports.

I do not, however, hate spending the day in New York City with PADDY!!!!!!! I love Paddy. I love him wholeheartedly. He is one of the most genuine, sweet, smart, funny, lovely guys I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and more than that, he's a wonderful friend. I am so glad I got this chance to see him. Even though it took 6 hours of driving, a lot of gas, and the sacrifice of pretty badly-needed homework time, it was more than worth it. An emotional breath of fresh air, shall we say. I love living with Michelle and Rob, but after Dublin, with my constantly rotating door of social activities and friends, I feel rather suffocated. Paddy made me feel light and free and glad to be me.

Hmmm, I wonder if I should go back to Ireland? :P (Side note: I'm in the process of very seriously examining that decision. It's extremely complicated, weighing what's most important to me - the fact that it's DUBLIN and I KNOW I will be happy there, or the fact that I could probably get a much more prestigious and personally-tailored PhD project over here in the states. My head hurts.)

As for our day in New York, we mostly just wandered about randomly, hopping on subways when the whim struck. We ambled through Chinatown, grazed Little Italy, went to 5th Ave and hung out in the Apple Store and FAO Schwartz, got a delicious lunch of NYC brick oven pizza, and walked through Central Park for an hour, watching all the "yoggers" (apparently it's from Anchorman? I don't know!). I really had a lovely lovely day. He told me that everyone back in Dubs was really jealous that he got to see me! I thought that was soooo sweet. I told him that I may be coming back to Trinity, and he said that he would love that, but that I should really consider the academic ramifications seriously and make the decision that's best for me. Sigh, Paddy! You're supposed to whisk me across the ocean, damn the consequences!

On top of that awesomeness, I got to hang out with the super duper lovely [livejournal.com profile] figletofvenice, and her very awesome friends! Thank you again sweetie for letting me crash <3 I met up with them in the city after Paddy left for his flight, and we had a delicious Japanese dinner, then went back home and watched Supernatural and were bums in our PJs. Awesomesauce. It was a gooood day.

Back to this stupid lab report argh!
exsequar: (Dublin - Niall)
1) I GET TO GO BACK TO DUBLIN. TO LIVE. AND BE PAID. AND DO AWESOME CHEMISTRY. AND SNOG IRISH BOYS. FOR FOUR YEARS.
1b) This exponentially increases my chances of marrying an Irish lad. For the motherfucking win.
1c) This also condemns me to probably never seeing Panic at the Disco (OR MCR ;____;) play EVER AGAIN. (If by ever you mean probably once or twice in those four years, which, um, I do.) Rock Band Tour better be mothertrucking good, boys.
1d) DUBLINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥_______♥

2) The first chemistry paper that my name has ever been on was published online yesterday! Take a look! That's MY NAME on the AMERICAN CHEMICAL SOCIETY website!!! Bweee!

3) Mehl continues to be ridiculous and hilarious and awesome. Today in class, he asked us why we study enzyme kinetics. When Ross gave a completely bullshit answer, Mehl answered, "Okay. Everyone close their eyes. Now... visualize a pixie." I SHIT YOU NOT. A PIXIE. He spent TEN MINUTES on this metaphor, okay. "The pixie is in the Enchanted Forest. But humans cannot get into the Enchanted Forest! So how do you know what the pixie's doing? What the pixie likes to eat? How the pixie moves? What the digestion period of a pixie is?" This was punctuated by baffled and snarky comments from we, the audience. He rode over them all. "So of course you have to lure the pixie out of the forest, put it in a glass box, and lock it in your basement!" (GABE SAPORTA APPROVES.) "Then, you feed the pixie! You overfeed it or you starve it. You poke it, prod it. Chop off its arm! See what happens!" And meanwhile I am just loling and loling. TEN MINUTES OF THAT SHIT. And he finishes with, "We are not pixie anthropologists. We are pixie physiologists." OH DOCTOR MEHL. ♥

4) Fenlon is... completely absent. He's in the throes of his tenure application, and he's really stressed out and worried about it. He blew off our weekly meeting today. Poor guy! I hope it goes well for him. I haven't even told him I'm, uh, doing my PhD in Dublin! Last he knew I wasn't even considering a PhD! Um, whoops? :P In good news though, my research has finally produced the right product (I THINK) and we're almost ready to move on to the next step \o/

5) Tomorrow is the research fair for all summer projects, including mine! Then I have lab, and then I get in the car to drive to NYC to see MADDY!! and PADDY!!!! Paddy has not yet called me, even though he was supposed to arrive in NYC YESTERDAY, and I am worried, but not particularly surprised. It's extremely Irish of him, to promise to call and then... not. I bet he'll call tomorrow night some time so we can plan up when and how we're meeting on Saturday morning. *hands* This weekend is probably going to be expensive (gas, train into city, taxi to wherever, food for the day and probably going out at night with Maddy and friends) but you know what? It's worth it. Paddy is high in my top ten favorite people in the WORLD, and it is going to absolutely make my month to see his shining face. And tell him I'm moving back to Dublin! I really can't wait.

6) The West Wing continues to blow my socks off my feet. Joshhhhhhhhh ♥ Saaaaaaaaaaam ♥ Donnnnaaaaaaa ♥ Ceeeejaaaay ♥ etceteraaaaa :D

7) At this point, this entry is just rambling! I do want to say though that finding out that I'm going back to Dublin has put all the bounce back in my step. When I was stressing and worrying about what I was going to do for my future, I was simultaneously stressing about school work, and nothing was good. Now, if I get a little bogged down in stuff, I stop and think, "Dublin." And then I'm smiling again. Perhaps it's not healthy to go through your senior year thinking only of it ending, but I don't think that will be the case. I can appreciate my time here all the much better, appreciate having Michelle and Rob in my life to the fullest. The knowledge that I will be picking up my life in Dublin means that I don't have to spend half my time mourning it, as I was before. Now I can look at the pictures on my wall and smile because I will be there again! I will get to go back to Fibbers with Dara and Paul and Richard and Niall and Colin and Conor and Barry. I will get to go to real Irish pubs with Niall and Paddy and Ronan and Louise and Bridget Ann and Sinead. I will get to walk the cobblestones of Trinity, wander among the flowers and ponds of St Stephens Green, amble down Grafton Street, appreciate the fine stouts at the Porterhouse, dance the night away at Doyle's, and spend ridiculous hours in the Sci Fi room, all with people that I love.

Life is pretty damn good.
Mood:: 'cheerful' cheerful
exsequar: (Dublin at night)
posted by [personal profile] exsequar at 01:30am on 23/09/2008 under , , , , , ,
Okay, it's time for a cheerful and optimistic post about my future prospects!

Get this: I might get my Ph.D. at Trinity College Dublin.

....

I mean, EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Okay, it all started when I emailed one of my favorite profs from Ireland asking her if she knew about any job opportunities in Dublin for a person with a BA in Chemistry. She replied with this:
"Have you consider doing postgraduate studies here in Dublin?? I remember you were a brilliant student and I am certain that you could find funding here. I do not have a grant available just now but if you would like to work with me I could try to get some money here and there and we could prepare some proposal for you to apply here."
(Some of the odd grammar is because she's from Spain. She's such a lovely woman!) So basically she's saying, I would love you to work for me and I will MAKE IT HAPPEN. That email quite literally blew my mind. I hadn't let myself consider the possibility of going back to Dublin for a Ph.D., considering it prohibitive in a financial sense, but the more research I do into the matter, the more convinced I am that I could do it! For one thing, they ALSO pay their chemistry PhD students a stipend and waive the fees, just like here in America. (I didn't know that!) For another, the application process is so much simpler - no GRE, no personal statement. I just work with a professor at Trinity to develop a proposal along the lines of their current research, send in my CV and a couple recommendations, and bam. It happens. (I'm pretty damn sure I'd get in too. A BA in chemistry from a prestigious American school, very high grades here, and VERY high grades in the year I SPENT at Trinity. Plus this personal support, which I'm confident would be backed up by other members of the Chemistry department.)

My mind is blown.

And it's not like I'd be SETTLING for anything. Trinity is a damn fine school - ranked 53rd in the WORLD, and frequently mentioned in the same breath as Oxford and Cambridge. I'd be back in DUBLIN, the home of my heart. When I told Louise I was considering it, she was like YOU MUST DO THIS. I would be back with Louise and Niall and Paddy and Dara and Barry and Conor and Paul and Ronan and Niall C and EVERYONE and the thought just makes me want to explode for joy.

Another great thing is that I think I could really love working for this woman. Her name is Isabel Rozas and she's a medicinal chemist working on drug design. I absolutely loved the three classes I took with her, and I'm quite fascinated by the details of drug design. How cool would that be??? It combines organic chemistry and biochemistry in such a brilliant way. I don't think I'd want to do it for my life, since pharmaceuticals scare me, but as a Ph.D. project? Hells yes!

I think... I think this might actually happen! I have a meeting with the international studies dean here at my college tomorrow. I'm trying not to get my heart too set on this (I haven't even spoken to my parents, and this essentially amounts to MOVING OUT OF THE COUNTRY for four years) but oh. Oh I want to go.

&DUBLIN;
Mood:: 'excited' excited
exsequar: (Boondock swinging crosses)
posted by [personal profile] exsequar at 12:55am on 20/09/2008 under , , , , ,
My name is Anne, and I am a Dublinoholic.

Emily (American friend from Ireland) told me today about a program that gives you a four month work permit for Ireland if you are a student or just graduated. I want to do it. I want to do it so badly I can taste it.

I then called my dad and had a long, fraught conversation about my future. Sometimes my daddy throws me for a loop. Essentially by the end of the conversation i had decided against taking the GRE and applying to grad school now, and I hung up the phone and started sobbing. He told me that with my brother entering college next year, he and my mom will not be able to support me financially. THey just won't. That was the first time that was spelled out for me. And I am scared, okay. Fucking terrified. This is the first time my life has had a blank slate and I have no idea what to do with it. Which is why I get whiplash every time I talk to someone new and get new ideas and perspectives.

The one thing I know for myself is this: I want to be back in Dublin. There's no question about that one. So if I can go there, maybe live with a friend, and have a job, even if it is just a waitress or bartender, well. I want t odo that.

I then proceeded to look at Ireland job listings and get drunk on Bushmills whiskey.

Why am I stressing out so much about this? It's SEPTEMBER. Fucking hell.

Bed now.
Mood:: 'scared' scared
exsequar: ((TWW) Sam and Josh state secrets)
For the record, I STILL LOVE JOSH LYMAN. This is getting slightly ridiculous. Heaaaarts <33333 Does ANYBODY know where I can find some good Sam/Josh fic??? Rec lists, authors, ANYTHING? I know there has to be something out there, but my searching skillz are failing utterly! :( I am now going back and rewatching some S1 episodes and I'm noticing even the TINIEST Sam/Josh moments. This is a SURE sign that I need fic.

Let's bulletpoint.

Yesterday, I:
  • Went to Cinema lecture. Prof Moss continues to be adorable. We watched a clip from a 2006 movie called The TV Set which stars David Duchovny. It was like, surprise!DavidDuchovny at 10 in the morning! I was pleased. I was, however, not pleased by the new girl in the class who is LOUD and obnoxious and would not shut the fuck up about how she thought The Dark Knight was "the perfect movie". I wanted to strangle her. She's small and blonde and was wearing a kimono. Ugh hate. I am still impressed by how Prof Moss deals with idiots though. I could not do as well.
  • Went to Analytical Chem lecture. About as exciting as you'd think.
  • Went to work at the library for three hours.
  • Went to Prof Moss's office to make up the quiz I missed on Friday. He's still, in case you were wondering, adorable.
  • Went to the lab to tie up some loose ends for about an hour.
  • Ran home for a half hour break and a frozen dinner.
  • Went to the screening of Jean-Luc Godard's Le Meprise (Contempt) for Cinema class. I'd never seen a Godard film so it was quite an experience. He's an experimental, wacky French filmmaker, for those who don't know, and I really liked the movie. Afterwards I stayed chatting with Prof Moss and another student named Dave about the movie and other movies. Dave is deeply attractive, with long hair and freckles and beautiful eyes, and he's smart and articulate. Needless to say, I've noticed him before. We chatted before the movie too, when I found out he's 23, a sophomore, local, took years out between high school and college, and wants to be a filmmaker. He's awesome. Chatting with the two of them was really interesting, even though I knew a lot less than they did about movies. Afterwards, I asked Dave if he might give me company home since it's a bad neighborhood to walk through at night, and he offered me a ride :) But here's the clincher: he revealed that he lives with his girlfriend. Well damn. So, new friend yay, but not new potential anything else. All the good ones are taken!


Today, I:
  • Woke up at 6:45. Say it with me: ughhhhh. I had to go in early for my prof's office hours at 8. Luckily he helped me out quite a bit so it was worth it.
  • Wore the following: my new skinny jeans (I've never owned anything but flare before! But these were size 11 SHORT, the only pair of that size in all of Aeropostale, and they don't even touch the ground!! It's miraculous and I really love them), my Chucks, a black SPN Impala tshirt, and a black MCR hoodie. Basically, SCENEKID. And as a result, I felt like an ALIEN on my upper-middle class preppy college campus. Seriously. This led me to a whole thought process about how Ireland let me truly discover myself and never made me feel ashamed for it, but that's for some other time.
  • Had Biochem lecture. Mehl is SUCH a good lecturer, I'm learning so much. Still terrified of his class, but getting a better handle.
  • Worked at the library for two hours.
  • Worked in the lab for two hours.
  • Came home at FOUR! :O This is literally the earliest I've been home on a weekday since classes started. I have to go back into the lab to check the progress of a reaction later this evening though.


School is pretty much overwhelmingly nonstop, as you can tell. The actual daily routine I can handle no problem, but the main emotion I'm feeling right now is... isolation. I am having zero social interaction with anyone that isn't my two roommates. Which, thank god they're my best friends because that could suck even more otherwise. I walk around campus and occasionally see a face I know, even more occasionally see someone whose name I know, and only very rarely see someone I know well enough to say hi. Partially this is because fully 50% of the campus is people who weren't here when I left, and partially because I never had a heck of a lot of friends to begin with, and a lot of them graduated. This is in sharp contrast to how I felt at Trinity, which is 12,000 students (as opposed to 1,800 here) and yet I could hardly walk from one end of campus to the other without stopping and chatting with someone.

I'm trying not to be a downer, sorry. I'm feeling better about academic things than I did a few days ago. But I do fear I'm going to be a little less... chipper than usual in the coming months. Sorry :-/ You all are being really awesome and supportive and I appreciate it a whole lot. I'm sorry if I'm terrible at replies - as you can see, busybusybusy. But I'm reading them all <3
Mood:: 'tired' tired
exsequar: (Dublin - Dara)
HOMG.

I just got my results from Trinity!!! (I know about time, right? Sheesh.) And they're... they... MY MIND IS BLOWN, OKAY?? I have NO idea how I pulled this off, none at all.

A little background - the Irish grading system is weird, but the important thing is that it's a percent scale but anything 70 and above is a "first", the highest grading tier. It's my impression that getting a first is a little more rare than getting an A here in America. Getting in the 80s and 90s is ridiculous and doesn't happen much. (I think? Feel free to correct me, Europeans!)

Well, here are my grades.

Biochemistry (three exams): 75, 72, 63
Inorganic chemistry: 90!!! (what???)
Organic chemistry: 68
Physical chemistry: 85!
Medicinal chemistry: 90!!! (?????)
Med. chem lab: 93!!
Chem lab overall: 80

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN????? My face is just beaming, I can't even. I can't believe I did that!! And that was WITH slacking off rather too much to hang out with/mack on one Dara O'Halloran. Clearly it didn't harm me too much! ;)

Wow. Maybe MIT will really take me! :D :D :D YAY!
Mood:: 'giddy' giddy
exsequar: (Girlyrock - E - Tom exploding high)
Wow, I am just bowled over by the birthday wishes! Thanks everyone!!

I treated myself to a bottle of Bushmills Irish whiskey (rather anticlimactic - for one thing, I've bought alcohol approximately a bazillion times, and for another SHE DIDN'T CARD ME) and I'm now drinking it on the rocks. Oh GOD it's good. All smooth and rich with just a bit of burn and mmmmmmmmmmm. Yeah, I'm a whiskey girl.

I wanted a six pack of Corona, but apparently in PA liquor stores can only sell wine and spirits? Beer is sold elsewhere! I was most miffed. I'm going to have to hunt down a good beer store because homg I miss beer like CRAZY. There was Guinness on tap at the Empires show but I couldn't have any ;_;

My current state of intoxication (which is pleasantly fuzzy and will only degenerate) means that I won't finish teh Empires post tonight. Sorry! In short - LOVE. But you will get long tomorrow. I promise.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm Bushmills.

Oh yeah and I talked to my daddy for like an HOUR. Do you know how much I love my Daddy? THIIIIIIS MUCH. I asked him if he still had a copy of the song he wrote for me when I was born, and he sang me some of the melody! "She's a miiiiracle girl!" UGH DADDY. He's my favorite, you guys.

I just watched the S1 episode of Battlestar Galactica, Flesh and Blood, where Kara interrogates Leoben. Starbuck + Callum Keith Rennie = HOMG. I was vibrating. He's so fucking GOOD and so fucking hot and nnrrrgh. And now I'm going to watch more Due South and he's going to be a cynical sarcastic ridiculous cop and i'm gonna laugh and laugh.

TOM CONRAD. The end. Yes I took that picture.

ETA: OH YEAH. I just found out that We The Kings is playing in my town NEXT WEDNESDAY! :O I went to the website for my local venue and THERE THEY WERE! $10 for a walking-distance show! Sweeeeet. I'm now giving their album a listen and they're funnn! YAY MUSICS.
Mood:: 'quixotic' quixotic
exsequar: (Girlyrock - Panic! - Ryro reinvent heart)
Tagged by [livejournal.com profile] candidlily !

List 10 songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your LJ along with your 10 songs. Then tag 10 other people to see what they're listening to.

My ten. )

I taaaag... [livejournal.com profile] mcee , [livejournal.com profile] kashmir1 , [livejournal.com profile] wasoncedelight , [livejournal.com profile] bluejbird , [livejournal.com profile] torakowalski , [livejournal.com profile] pau494 , [livejournal.com profile] theaerosolkid , [livejournal.com profile] ethrosdemon , [livejournal.com profile] scizojess , and [livejournal.com profile] unamaga !

&music;
Mood:: 'relaxed' relaxed

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