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As the fragments of my skull begin to fall, fall on your tongue like pixie dust
I have commenced my second week of lectures (I know, what the hell? You've all been in school for aaaaages) and I'm feeling a bit better about some of them, a bit wary of others. Even though I'm taking just about the same number of hours of courses as I did back home, it feels like a lot more because 8 subjects is so much more overwhelming than 4, especially when 7 of them are chemistry/biochemistry, as opposed to ONE. I'm just not sure how much reading and focus I'm supposed to do or give to each subject. Gah!
Just to show you how insane the life of a chemistry student is, here's my schedule! (Each lecture starts on the hour and lasts ~50 minutes)
Monday:
9 - Quantum Chemistry
11 - Organometallics
4 - Thermodynamics
Tuesday:
10 - Quantum Chemistry
11 - Group Theory
2 - Proteins & Enzymes
3 - Medicinal Chemistry
4 - Proteins & Enzymes
(5-7 - Karate)
Wednesday:
10 - Electrochemistry
11 - European Societies
1 - European Societies
2 - Medicinal Chemistry
(7-9 - Choir)
Thursday:
9-12 and 2-5 - Physical chemistry lab
(5-7 - Karate)
Friday:
10-1 - Computational physical chemistry lab
FUN! \o/ It wasn't SO terrible until I picked up quantum chemistry (two days that started at 11! Score!) but now it's just kind of like I'm going to be dead of exhaustion really soon, heh. We'll see.
Of course, it doesn't help that I have yet to be HEALTHY. I arrived in Ireland with a cough which has STILL not gone away, and now today on top of that I've felt lightheaded, flushed, achey, and tired. I hope it's a 24 hour thing, and not a lingering flu that will lay me out for a week. BLEH. I had to tell Simon not to come up today, because I am just not up for more than drinking tea on the couch, and I think he was angry/disappointed, as his texts were very terse. :(
Also, tonight Kevin Smith is coming to talk to my college, but I really do not feel like making the fifteen minute hike, and then sitting in an uncomfortable chair for however many hours. Like I said. Tea. Couch. Sigh.
Oh I forgot to tell you guys! Guess who might be coming to talk to my school? Oh yeah, that's right, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY. *falls over laughing* I just... WHAT? What the HELL has Chad Michael Mayhem done to be invited to talk at the oldest university in Ireland??? Ahahaha. There's a chance he might not come, but if he does I might have to go just for the comedic value. Now WHY couldn't it have been Jared or Jensen??? Gosh.
Amusing bandom thing -![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
redbrickrose was talking about Gabe in an entry, and how you kind of can't take him seriously because then you'll be super skeeved out, so you love him A LOT A LOT but it's very ironic, because let's face it, he's a crazy dude. So then she proposed an Ironic Love spectrum, with Gabe as the most ironic and Gerard as the least. I'm not sure Gerard would be the least for me, but I think it's a hilarious idea, and I want to kind of think about this!
Now, this might prove difficult because I have very little irony in my love for a lot of these boys, or, for that matter, the music and the whole scene aesthetic. I give my heart fully to things when I am obsessed and tend to lose any kind of critical distance.
That said, first up is definitely Gabe. My love for him is the newest, and he is one crazy motherfucker, yaknow? Sometimes I'm not sure how much of his insanity he actually believes. But I still love him because he is hilarious and precious and one awesome ball of energy <3
Next up... hm. Perhaps Travis? I mean, I know he's a very nice guy, but I just have not seen much material of him (interviews and the like) and he's so often drunk or high (not really a fan), and I didn't like his live performance at the VMAs much at all. Part of it is that I just do not like hip hop music. I mean, I still love him! He likes to grope William and Gabe! He loves all the precious little boys in the scene! But. Yeah. Healthy dash of irony.
Next I think would be Pete. Now, there's a lot of things to really adore about Pete, and I'll be the first to defend him to some random person who just knows his dick leaked on the internet. But at the same time, he does some stupid shit. Release the Bats, what I've heard about it, is pretty much revolting. Sometimes he acts like a twelve year old. Sometimes he's a bit too much of a businessman. And he dated a girl way too young for him. And his blog posts are so pretentiously emo, I can't quite help but laugh sometimes. All that said, HE LOVES HIS PATRICK. And he loves music! And he loves roflcoptering with his bass! And he loves his many protege (cough ryanross cough)! And he is a fucking GOOD businessman! And he makes music videos in Uganda to raise awareness about the problems there! Sometimes he's almost painfully sincere, and it just makes me want to ruffle his (ew, mullet-like) hair and feed him cookies! Pete's Peter Pan complex is sometimes just too glaring to ignore, but mostly I feel he's a very good person with his heart very much in the right place.
I'm trying to think who else I have even the slightest irony about loving. Perhaps... William? William drinks a bit more than I'm comfortable with. His lyrics don't really speak to me in a way that Panic! or MCR's do. He's a terrible actor, lmao. (But terrible in the most presh and hilarious way! See, irony!) And the way Tom Conrad described the drama within the band gives me kind of a negative impression of how William leads his little troupe - I far prefer the familial feel of Panic! or MCR or FOB. All THAT said, he can sometimes seem so young and vulnerable and sensitive, I just want to cuddle with him. Or he'll start on an extremely long and rambly explanation of how Decaydance is just one big loving family, awww. And when he smiles, I just have to smile back. He's also really passionate on stage - even though I don't think TAI is the greatest live act, William really puts his heart into it. ILU William!
Most of other boys I just love with no reservations at all. Of course there are varying intensities of love, and some of them I just kind of feel an affection for, or in a couple cases mostly indifference. The most intense and unironic love is saved for: ALL the Panic! boys, Frank, Gerard, Sisky, and Patrick. ♥♥♥
Side note: I think where I'd deviate from most people is Ryan. And perhaps Brendon. I love both of them without a HINT of irony. People say Ryan can be a pretentious ass - I quite simply do not agree. They point out specific interviews and say they want to slap him - I watched that very same interview riveted to his every word. People say Brendon can be intensely obnoxious and immature - again, I never see any of his antics as obnoxious, simply adorable and precious and darling. I would love to be best friends with both of them, and they are my favoritest EVER. (Seriously, my love for the rosevest is unironic. IT'S KIND OF INSANE.)
Okay, that was all kind of pointless but I spent a long time on it so I'm going to post it anyway! SO THERE :P Tell me where everyone is on your irony scale!
To Do list tonight: Have dinner. Read more d-block chemistry. Post at least some of bandom happyplace spam. Watch Dirty Sexy Money and House.
OH BY THE WAY SGA IS THE MOST AMAZING LOVE EVER. GAH HEARTS FOREVERRRRR.
(Pee. Ess. "I ain't suckin you off for any amount of money." OH GERARD. (From the the end of the live Give Em Hell, Kid off LOTMS))
This post is way too long. Over and out.
Just to show you how insane the life of a chemistry student is, here's my schedule! (Each lecture starts on the hour and lasts ~50 minutes)
Monday:
9 - Quantum Chemistry
11 - Organometallics
4 - Thermodynamics
Tuesday:
10 - Quantum Chemistry
11 - Group Theory
2 - Proteins & Enzymes
3 - Medicinal Chemistry
4 - Proteins & Enzymes
(5-7 - Karate)
Wednesday:
10 - Electrochemistry
11 - European Societies
1 - European Societies
2 - Medicinal Chemistry
(7-9 - Choir)
Thursday:
9-12 and 2-5 - Physical chemistry lab
(5-7 - Karate)
Friday:
10-1 - Computational physical chemistry lab
FUN! \o/ It wasn't SO terrible until I picked up quantum chemistry (two days that started at 11! Score!) but now it's just kind of like I'm going to be dead of exhaustion really soon, heh. We'll see.
Of course, it doesn't help that I have yet to be HEALTHY. I arrived in Ireland with a cough which has STILL not gone away, and now today on top of that I've felt lightheaded, flushed, achey, and tired. I hope it's a 24 hour thing, and not a lingering flu that will lay me out for a week. BLEH. I had to tell Simon not to come up today, because I am just not up for more than drinking tea on the couch, and I think he was angry/disappointed, as his texts were very terse. :(
Also, tonight Kevin Smith is coming to talk to my college, but I really do not feel like making the fifteen minute hike, and then sitting in an uncomfortable chair for however many hours. Like I said. Tea. Couch. Sigh.
Oh I forgot to tell you guys! Guess who might be coming to talk to my school? Oh yeah, that's right, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY. *falls over laughing* I just... WHAT? What the HELL has Chad Michael Mayhem done to be invited to talk at the oldest university in Ireland??? Ahahaha. There's a chance he might not come, but if he does I might have to go just for the comedic value. Now WHY couldn't it have been Jared or Jensen??? Gosh.
Amusing bandom thing -
redbrickrose was talking about Gabe in an entry, and how you kind of can't take him seriously because then you'll be super skeeved out, so you love him A LOT A LOT but it's very ironic, because let's face it, he's a crazy dude. So then she proposed an Ironic Love spectrum, with Gabe as the most ironic and Gerard as the least. I'm not sure Gerard would be the least for me, but I think it's a hilarious idea, and I want to kind of think about this! Now, this might prove difficult because I have very little irony in my love for a lot of these boys, or, for that matter, the music and the whole scene aesthetic. I give my heart fully to things when I am obsessed and tend to lose any kind of critical distance.
That said, first up is definitely Gabe. My love for him is the newest, and he is one crazy motherfucker, yaknow? Sometimes I'm not sure how much of his insanity he actually believes. But I still love him because he is hilarious and precious and one awesome ball of energy <3
Next up... hm. Perhaps Travis? I mean, I know he's a very nice guy, but I just have not seen much material of him (interviews and the like) and he's so often drunk or high (not really a fan), and I didn't like his live performance at the VMAs much at all. Part of it is that I just do not like hip hop music. I mean, I still love him! He likes to grope William and Gabe! He loves all the precious little boys in the scene! But. Yeah. Healthy dash of irony.
Next I think would be Pete. Now, there's a lot of things to really adore about Pete, and I'll be the first to defend him to some random person who just knows his dick leaked on the internet. But at the same time, he does some stupid shit. Release the Bats, what I've heard about it, is pretty much revolting. Sometimes he acts like a twelve year old. Sometimes he's a bit too much of a businessman. And he dated a girl way too young for him. And his blog posts are so pretentiously emo, I can't quite help but laugh sometimes. All that said, HE LOVES HIS PATRICK. And he loves music! And he loves roflcoptering with his bass! And he loves his many protege (cough ryanross cough)! And he is a fucking GOOD businessman! And he makes music videos in Uganda to raise awareness about the problems there! Sometimes he's almost painfully sincere, and it just makes me want to ruffle his (ew, mullet-like) hair and feed him cookies! Pete's Peter Pan complex is sometimes just too glaring to ignore, but mostly I feel he's a very good person with his heart very much in the right place.
I'm trying to think who else I have even the slightest irony about loving. Perhaps... William? William drinks a bit more than I'm comfortable with. His lyrics don't really speak to me in a way that Panic! or MCR's do. He's a terrible actor, lmao. (But terrible in the most presh and hilarious way! See, irony!) And the way Tom Conrad described the drama within the band gives me kind of a negative impression of how William leads his little troupe - I far prefer the familial feel of Panic! or MCR or FOB. All THAT said, he can sometimes seem so young and vulnerable and sensitive, I just want to cuddle with him. Or he'll start on an extremely long and rambly explanation of how Decaydance is just one big loving family, awww. And when he smiles, I just have to smile back. He's also really passionate on stage - even though I don't think TAI is the greatest live act, William really puts his heart into it. ILU William!
Most of other boys I just love with no reservations at all. Of course there are varying intensities of love, and some of them I just kind of feel an affection for, or in a couple cases mostly indifference. The most intense and unironic love is saved for: ALL the Panic! boys, Frank, Gerard, Sisky, and Patrick. ♥♥♥
Side note: I think where I'd deviate from most people is Ryan. And perhaps Brendon. I love both of them without a HINT of irony. People say Ryan can be a pretentious ass - I quite simply do not agree. They point out specific interviews and say they want to slap him - I watched that very same interview riveted to his every word. People say Brendon can be intensely obnoxious and immature - again, I never see any of his antics as obnoxious, simply adorable and precious and darling. I would love to be best friends with both of them, and they are my favoritest EVER. (Seriously, my love for the rosevest is unironic. IT'S KIND OF INSANE.)
Okay, that was all kind of pointless but I spent a long time on it so I'm going to post it anyway! SO THERE :P Tell me where everyone is on your irony scale!
To Do list tonight: Have dinner. Read more d-block chemistry. Post at least some of bandom happyplace spam. Watch Dirty Sexy Money and House.
OH BY THE WAY SGA IS THE MOST AMAZING LOVE EVER. GAH HEARTS FOREVERRRRR.
(Pee. Ess. "I ain't suckin you off for any amount of money." OH GERARD. (From the the end of the live Give Em Hell, Kid off LOTMS))
This post is way too long. Over and out.
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looks alot like my timetable
my longest day is 9- 6
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Duuuude I hope you're eating properly and not drinking too much *stern face*
:P
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I DON'T KNOW. CMM? REALLY? I bet it won't happen, but I think it's lolarious that they're even TRYING.
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(Sidenote: OMG, AWESOME, CMM! Kevin Smith! That's so cool!!)
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(LOL. Kevin Smith actually cancelled and is rescheduled for February, but yeah. They had Helen Mirren a couple weeks ago!)
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Also I hope you feel better. *flicks health at*
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*catches health* thankie!
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(omg there's something called quantum chemistry?)
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Um, yes! Why is this an omg? Quantum chemistry is the study of atoms at the scale at which classical physics fails miserably. That's where Heisenberg's uncertainty principle comes into play, which I'm sure you've heard of.
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Ahem.
Dude, some of the old Panic interviews are painful to watch for me, they're so uncomfortable (but admittedly, I have an embarrassment squick the size of a HOUSE, so I might be a little psychotic). Some of it goes back to crappy interviewers, but they just... I think they used to be SO BAD at it! Not hostile-bad, but vaguely-curt and vaguely-disinterested bad. I think it's totally understandable, they were so young and so new to it and probably really overwhelmed, but I so enjoy the newer ones where they no longer wear their I-wish-all-reporters-would-die bitchfaces (Brendon Urie, I'm looking at you) and Ryan Ross actually has a visible emotion from time to time. *g*
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:/
Also? I would kill to see Kevin Smith speak. You guys are really lucky. All we get are hackneyed politicians.
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Yeah, they get some pretty fabulous speakers here. Rumor has it that Edward Norton might come - so excited!
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Feel better! I'll just be over here laughing at the thought of CMM visiting your school. :P
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Thanks hon!
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Patrick
Spencer
the rosevest (That vest is just so extremely cool, and I think their aesthetic would have been a bit ridiculous without it. The vest is so beautiful that it just classes everything else up.)
Andy
the Carpal Tunnel video
the But It's Better If You Do video
Siska
Ironic love for:
The furry suits in all their incarnations
Joe
the I Write Sins video (especially Brent, Ryan, and Spencer...)
The Butcher
Jon's stupid faces
Ryan's skinny tie-leather jacket phase
I could do this all day. But I won't. :-)
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I hope you're feeeling better!
OMG, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY? HAHAHAHA. Is he gonna pass on his wisdom on how to avoid STDs from Paris Hilton? My love for Chad is completely ironic, shame.
Side note: I think where I'd deviate from most people is Ryan. And perhaps Brendon. I love both of them without a HINT of irony. People say Ryan can be a pretentious ass - I quite simply do not agree. They point out specific interviews and say they want to slap him - I watched that very same interview riveted to his every word. People say Brendon can be intensely obnoxious and immature - again, I never see any of his antics as obnoxious, simply adorable and precious and darling. I would love to be best friends with both of them, and they are my favoritest EVER. (Seriously, my love for the rosevest is unironic. IT'S KIND OF INSANE.)
YES. Just, YES. I COMPLETELY, 100% AGREE WITH THIS AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY.
Looooooove you.
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Also biochemistr>>>>>chemistry. I'm just saying. (Icon is in reference to too many chem modules and not you)
Gah, why is everyone sick? I hope you feel better soon!
Also OMG KEVIN SMITH? IS AT YOUR UNI RIGHT NOW? I AM SO JEALOUS!
Also SGA YAY!
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Biochem >>> chem SO MUCH. But I have to do all this physical chem bullshit to finish my straight chem major back home :(:( It's really depressing and I don't wanna doooo it. *whine whine*
It doesn't matter what your icon is for because IT IS MADE OF WIN. SIMON AMSTELL ILU SO MUCH.
Thank you! I hope I do too, I still feel the same. Aka crappy :(
He actually ended up canceling and rescheduling for February! Lame. But that hopefully means I won't miss him!
SGA = <3
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Your class schedule scares me, truthfully. I can barely pronounced the names.
Sending tea to get well.
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Haha, well. It scares me too, and I have to take it :-/
Aww, thanks. I'm rapidly becoming a tea addict - two cups today, and I wasn't a tea drinker before two weeks ago!
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Oooh, that's awesome! YAY KANE! I can't wait for their new album, due out soonish!
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Secondly: regarding Ryan Ross. I didn't mean to be at all squee harshing with my use of the phrase "pretentious ass" *squishes him* I hope it didn't come off that way! *squishes you* Ryan is one of my favorites. I think he can come off as pretentious in interviews, or at least he used to, but really, it doesn't mean I love him any less. (Also, I have a hard time believing that anyone who wrote "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage" was completely sincere in that, but that just makes me love him more because I think he's self aware. I mean, I think he probably meant it? But he also has to know how it sounds.) Still. Ryan ♥
I may be looking at their sincerity more than the irony of my love. I may be tying the two things together. In all honesty, I have overused the word "irony" so much today that it has lost all meaning for me (but that was in relation to the most ridiculous rl situation EVER, not anything fannish). Gerard *means* it. Pete means it, but no one's sure what "it" is. Ryan means it except when he doesn't. Gabe better not fucking mean it, because that's creepy. So that's kind of the scale? And everybody else falls in there somewhere. Says the girl who is still new to bandom and can't even put Bill Beckett on the list because she only started listening to tai two days ago - so grain of salt? Yes.
re: Brendon. It's possible my love for Brendon Urie defies all explanation. I really don't even know. And my OTPness about Ryan/Brendon actually makes me uncomfortable because I seriously don't tend to OTP like this at all. Ever. In any fandom. So to have it happen in an RPS fandom is a little weird.
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I think Ryan is extremely self aware, which is part of why I love him. At age 18 or so, he wrote this album that's full of incisive observations about himself and others. And one of the reasons Ryan's interviews don't bother me is because it's a persona. Ryan has said many times that the makeup and costumes and script on stage help make him feel like he's not himself, so it's easier to perform, and he obviously does the same thing with interviews. He slips on a very serious, no-nonsense mask (well, he used to) and I think that's because he very very much wanted his band to be taken seriously, and for people to understand that there was serious thought going into this crazy spectacle of an album and live show. So that's just another piece of Ryan Ross, but it isn't who he actually is. Then we get glimpses of the real Ryan, when his three besties make him smile like the sun, and I swoon happily and am basically in love.
HI WOW I COULD TALK ABOUT RYAN FOREVER. *shuts up*
Haha. That makes sense! I'm probably misusing irony at this point, but I just took it as a chance to ramble on about the boys. Bad thing? Never :D
BRENDON URIE, YOU STOP IT WITH THE AMAZING. *sigh sigh* I love him so ridiculously much, and he and Ryan are destined to be married, and everything is perfect and beautiful and and. ♥!
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It's interesting because onstage Tom and Bill are electric, but musically Bill and Chiz write amazing things (40 Steps).
Who knows. But really are any bands really puppies and rainbows?
Also, re: ironic love spectrum: i have to think some more about it. For me I think it's less "is my love for them ironic" and more "do i think they are self-aware about their own ridiculousness" Like, Gabe is clearly working from a place of humor and self-referential ridiculousness and so i am able to appreciate him in his ridiculousness. Ryan does not always strike me as so self-aware (though sometimes he is forsure). It's not that I don't find him compelling, but my feelings for him are more complex. Bill Beckett strikes me as aware of himself as a caricature about 70% of the time. During those moments I love him unreservedly. The other 30% make me want to pat him on the head and say "oh bill"
i can't put people on an ironic - unironic axis. I need other axes as well self aware - unaware; pretentious - genuine; earnest - sarcastic.
all these things factor in to my different loves.
(there are several people that I love truly and deeply and without complication or analysis. Brendon Urie. Pretty much everyone in MCR now that Ive watched LOTMS (yay for having a fangirl night with folks who had it. I was DYING waiting for my turn at the library))
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Who knows. But really are any bands really puppies and rainbows?
Panic!? :) But in all seriousness, I know that no band is perfect all the time, but at the same time, the way Tom talks about how you had to take sides within the band, and the way people are cut out of the creative process... that just doesn't sit well next to me. There shouldn't be factions constantly set against each other within one band. Panic! is extremely collaborative and family like - I'm sure they have their arguments, but every single person loves every other person, pretty much unconditionally. It's the same in FOB and MCR, especially the latter. TAI's the only one that gives me a little bit of discomfort when it comes to the overall dynamic.
I really can't wait for Tom's new band. It does seem like he just didn't mesh with TAI, and I want him to have his chance to shine!
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But was Panic like that when Brent was around? The way they talk about him in interviews it doesn't sound like it. And MCR has had more than their fair share of dysfunction.
I totally understand your TAI discomfort, but for me it's hard to discern a band's dynamic based on how it was with a guy they ended up asking to leave.
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Um. I'M DELUSIONAL WITH TIRED. But I can still define irony! SO THAT IS ALL. \o/
AND ALSO
Re: AND ALSO
*falls over*
(MONAMONAMONA HI HI HI.)
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