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Sep. 20th, 2008 12:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
exsequarMy name is Anne, and I am a Dublinoholic.
Emily (American friend from Ireland) told me today about a program that gives you a four month work permit for Ireland if you are a student or just graduated. I want to do it. I want to do it so badly I can taste it.
I then called my dad and had a long, fraught conversation about my future. Sometimes my daddy throws me for a loop. Essentially by the end of the conversation i had decided against taking the GRE and applying to grad school now, and I hung up the phone and started sobbing. He told me that with my brother entering college next year, he and my mom will not be able to support me financially. THey just won't. That was the first time that was spelled out for me. And I am scared, okay. Fucking terrified. This is the first time my life has had a blank slate and I have no idea what to do with it. Which is why I get whiplash every time I talk to someone new and get new ideas and perspectives.
The one thing I know for myself is this: I want to be back in Dublin. There's no question about that one. So if I can go there, maybe live with a friend, and have a job, even if it is just a waitress or bartender, well. I want t odo that.
I then proceeded to look at Ireland job listings and get drunk on Bushmills whiskey.
Why am I stressing out so much about this? It's SEPTEMBER. Fucking hell.
Bed now.
Emily (American friend from Ireland) told me today about a program that gives you a four month work permit for Ireland if you are a student or just graduated. I want to do it. I want to do it so badly I can taste it.
I then called my dad and had a long, fraught conversation about my future. Sometimes my daddy throws me for a loop. Essentially by the end of the conversation i had decided against taking the GRE and applying to grad school now, and I hung up the phone and started sobbing. He told me that with my brother entering college next year, he and my mom will not be able to support me financially. THey just won't. That was the first time that was spelled out for me. And I am scared, okay. Fucking terrified. This is the first time my life has had a blank slate and I have no idea what to do with it. Which is why I get whiplash every time I talk to someone new and get new ideas and perspectives.
The one thing I know for myself is this: I want to be back in Dublin. There's no question about that one. So if I can go there, maybe live with a friend, and have a job, even if it is just a waitress or bartender, well. I want t odo that.
I then proceeded to look at Ireland job listings and get drunk on Bushmills whiskey.
Why am I stressing out so much about this? It's SEPTEMBER. Fucking hell.
Bed now.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-20 05:39 am (UTC)There are ways to support yourself if going back to school is *not* what you want to do right away - and there's no shame in taking some time off in between undergrad and grad school if you need a breather. Lots of people do.
I do want to echo what chaneen said above - what about programs in Ireland? Do you think that would be an option for you. It *is* only September and you do have time to make a decision, but as much as you loved it and if that's the one thing you're sure of, then I think it makes a lot of sense to look into options that would let you be there.
Good luck! And give yourself some time. *hugs again*