one more miracle

Let's take a journey through time and space! The mighty booooooosh... oops, sorry, got sidetracked :D Now let's see here...

On July 3, 2008, I went to work at the lab. Work went... okay. And then I came home and watched TBPID! YAY!

On July 3, 2007, I squealed about the existence of a NASA space shuttle named Atlantis, and then ranted about America in response to watching the movie Syriana.

On July 3, 2006, I was in the midst of flailing about Germany in the World Cup, only to have my hopes dashed by their loss to Italy the next day :(

On July 3, 2005, I made a kind of hilariously "academic" assessment of the culture of icon making, and I also squealed about receiving my first award for vid-making! Oh how I miss vidding. I wish I had the time still.

On July 3, 2004, I did not yet have an LJ, but I will bet you anything I was doing nothing. That summer I didn't have a job, as I was so fried from my senior year of high school, so I sat around doing... nothing. Heh.

I am about to go pick up Niall from the train station! Yay!

Thank you so so so much to everyone who loved up on me in the Love Meme. I had tears streaming down my face, no lie. I usually steer completely clear of those kinds of things (there's too much potential for hurt feelings in addition to all the love, and it just feels too high school) but since it just HAPPENED, I'm all verklempt. You guys are awesome, seriously ♥

And now I want to say something.

Okay. Here's the thing. There are four hundred people that have this journal friended. Seriously. FOUR HUNDRED. That number is just. Ridiculous and I can't quite wrap my head around it. I know that probably half of those people have filtered me out long ago, or don't use LJ anymore, or whatever, but that still leaves a fuckton of people with their eyes at least glancing over this journal on a regular basis. And yet the amount of comments I receive has seemed to stay more or less steady at around 5-10 per entry for at least the last couple years. And this makes me feel kind of weird and uncomfortable. It has two dimensions - for one thing, I feel sometimes like I'm just kind of yelling out into a black void and my words are getting swallowed up. For another, it also feels like I'm in a goldfish bowl, with everyone kind of hovering around and able to see me, but not reaching in an interacting. It's weird and a little bit out of control.

I think I let it get to this point because I never stopped treating this journal as something temporary. When I got my LJ, it was just kinda like, oh this will be fun, but I didn't think it would become an integral part of my life like it really has. I've had this journal for 3 years and a month, now. That's a long time in my young life. And I've been something of a fandom butterfly, flitting back and forth and hither and yon and piling up friends but never really fully leaving a fandom, and I don't think I can let it get much further.

And here is where I admit my shameful secret - I read on filters. I know, it's terrible, but if anyone says to me they could totally keep up with 518 journals, well, I'd tell them they were a liar. Not to mention I've lost interest in a lot of what those journals have to say. And I know it's somehow not kosher to let people friend you and not friend them back, but what else am I supposed to do?? If I friended everyone who has me friended, that would be over SIX HUNDRED journals. o.O That's just not realistic. So more often than not nowadays, I don't friend back. I feel kind of bad, but there's nothing else I can do! This is the reason I could never go friends only, and I really don't understand people who DO go friends only. If you go that route, doesn't it mean you pretty much have to friend everyone who wants to friend you, and then either read their journals or read on filters, which is ANOTHER faux pas? It's a catch-22! I hate friending etiquette, I really do, because it always feels like you're doing something wrong.

So all of this is to say - I think I'm going to do a pretty significant friends cut. I apologize profusely in advance if I hurt anyone's feelings, and I know it's going to be hard, but I just have to do it. Feel free to defriend me, honestly, I'm declaring defriending amnesty right now. And if you have anything to say to me about all of the above, please do! Maybe I'm being a bitch with this post? Idk! Please tell me if I am, because I hate being a bitch /o\

Good thing I'm home early and have no plans for the evening... this is gonna take a while -_-

I was just looking at my profile and I noticed... I have exactly 300 people friended! Whee! And coincidentally enough, this is exactly my 1,400th post! That's... a lot of babbling *g*

I'll take this moment to say how much I appreciate all of you. I've found such an incredible community here, and met some of my best friends in the whole world, and I'm so grateful for everything LJ has brought to me. Even amidst all the kerfluffle (which I have completely mixed feelings on, sigh) my love for LJ, and the people I know here, is boundless. I love you all! *hugs tight*

Completely unrelatedly, my 5 year old cousin is currently watching Power Rangers, and it's pretty much hilarious. This seems to be some kind of turning point episode, so they've been recapping some history, and they showed the original Power Rangers that I watched when I was a kid. Tommy was sooooo hot, guys, and I adored Kimberly! *g* I am very amused.

Yay new layout! *beams* Right now it's just a basic layout directly from coding by refuted (and a gorgeous layout it is!) but I have plans to make a Panic! header and possibly change the color scheme. But for now I think it looks lovely! I always get tired of dark layouts, so this is a wonderful refreshing change from the last one. Sorry, Danny and Rusty my loves! You are not forgotten! But it is time to move on. :)

What I find funny - in the tag cloud on the sidebar, I have about a TRILLION (I need to have more of a system, I know) and most of them are tiny, with a few (like college) being a bit more prominent, but then SUPERNATURAL is SO HUGE it can't even FIT in the sidebar!!! I find this hilarious. Oh me.

But yes! Go see the shiny! All the new words (journal title, subtitle, comment links, mood and music) are lyrics from Panic!'s song Camisado, because it pwns me. Oh Ryan Ross.

----> exsequar

And for today's dose of Panic! adorable, we have...

LOOK AT THEM OMG. Spencer's SMILE! They ALL look SO HAPPY, even Ryro! And JWalk is killing me with adorable! And they have a Moonman! And pretty much I love them forever and ever the end *beams*

I have apparently been in a renovating kind of mood! I've changed everything about my journal in the past couple days. Further changes... I added one more header to the rotation, another Danny/Rusty, this one blue and green from those gorgeous caps I posted the other day :D I also have a new default icon *points* of the transcendentally beautiful Rusty - just look at his big eyes! ♥

I have also changed my journal titles... my main title is now "Terrible thing, pizza incompatibility", which is a random line that just captured my fancy from an adorable Ocean's 11 ficlet (sensing a trend???) called That's Amore by luzdeestrellas. The subtitle is "(a little less conversation, a little more action)" which is the Elvis song featured in Ocean's 11. And the title of my friends page is "Workin with proper villains again" which is a quotation from Basher in Ocean's 11, referring to - you guessed it - Rusty and Danny.

Obsessed much? *facepalm*

Oh! A not-Ocean related change! I have a shiny new moodtheme by _wwsd_ which is animated of John and Rodney (and Joe and David) from SGA and it's just the most hilarious adorable thing I have ever SEEN. This is one of my favorites - oh, JOE! *draws hearts*

Yay for new shiny things!

Now I'm off to eat some cookie dough ice cream and hopefully finish up the fourth season of Angel! Whee!