one more miracle

Hi LJ!

A quick wander through my memories in search of McShep fic (hey, I was feeling nostalgic) brought me on one of my old posts where I mused about SGA fanon vs. canon, first discovered Tom McRae, and reported that my study abroad to Dublin would be cheaper for my family than staying in the US. It flashed me back real hard, to a much simpler time, when I was younger, more innocent, more introverted, but also connected to a beautiful web of people through this... place. Livejournal. And LJ, I miss you. I know you're fading, have been for ages, but I will not let you go until they pry you out of my cold dead hands.

I don't just miss the community. I miss the record of my life. I miss that every moment of my feelings was recorded here. I've tried keeping private journals but it just isn't the same. Pretty much impossible to keep up the same way, really, for me anyway.

In any case, have a kamikaze update!
( Career change, boyfriend and migraines, oh my! )

Ummm so yeah! Things! Happening! A mixed bag but overall I'm doing pretty well. I still don't feel anything approaching a real adult but I'm trying to make steps to get there so we shall see. To Be Continued, I guess, probably a long time in the future.

Talk to me! Who's still out there? Anybody? Bueller?

I fail so much at LJ, you guys. Fail ever so much. :( I really really miss it, but I also feel like my life has progressed past that phase. I don't have time to lose myself in fic or the details of so many lives, as much as I'd want to. Even though I feel like I'm kind of a shitty grad student, I'm still a grad student, and that means busy. :(

Life updates since June... well, lots! I did a three month internship this summer which was... okay. Not exactly revelatory. I spent half of it writing a grant for my grad school work and trying not to puke because I'm SO BAD AT PLANNING SCIENCE, and the other half trying to figure out what I want to do instead because research is clearly not my destiny. I landed on science publishing, which basically entails working as an editor at a scientific journal, coordinating with authors and reviewers and generally shaping the journal's content and interactions with the world. I obviously need to finish my PhD so I'll do that and then look for editorial positions. I'm really excited about this new direction and hope it turns into a rewarding career.

I also went to Germanyyyyyy :D And also Dublin but that was a short visit, sadly. Still got to see some of my favorite friends though. But the majority of the trip was two weeks backpacking through Germany with my friend Sarah (who I met through the German football fandom!). We went to (in order) München (Munich), Chiemsee, Nürnberg (Nuremberg), Mainz, Karlsruhe, Köln (Cologne), Oldenburg, Hamburg, Fehmarn, and Berlin! The trip was whirlwind paced but I was so glad we got to see all the things we did. We attended four football matches, I met MY BELOVED LEWIS HOLTBY *points at icon and makes high pitched noises* after he scored 2 goals for the German U21s, we watched Germany beat Brazil, Mainz beat Leverkusen, and Bayern beat Wolfsburg. IT WAS AMAZING. We stayed with lots of friends of mine, new and old, some I've known forever but hadn't gotten to meet yet or only met once (*waves at novafairy, nebulein, and maleyka). My favorite city was Berlin (we only had A DAY! I want to spend a week there!) but they were all beautiful and unique. It was truly an amazing trip and only whetted my appetite for travel (and Europe) even further. And I cannot recommend backpack travel enough!! Sure I didn't have many clothes, but we did laundry twice and I only had ONE bag to deal with that I could just sling on my back, easy peasy. Such a freeing experience!

Josh and I fizzled out in September, a little while after I got back from Germany. It was a long time coming, sadly. We burned bright but only for a short while. I learned things about myself from that experience AND I had a hell of a lot of fun, so what more can you ask for? I haven't met a new guy yet, though there's a couple I've been talking to on OK Cupid who are intriguing.

I also moved apartments so now I live with one person instead of four (my current roomie was also one of the four, so no big adjustment there). We love our new apartment and I LOOOOOOVE my room. We're staying here for at least two years.

Fannishly, I have two new major TV loves: HAVEN and THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. To sum up: sdlkfjlsdkfjlsjfOT3OT3OT3!!!!! The triangles on these two shows BLOW ME AWAY. They have some similar dynamics but are at the same time drastically different and I love them *so much*. Some people choose Duke/Audrey or Nathan/Audrey or of course Duke/Nathan... I say why choose? They're ALL amazing and deserve to have each other. Furthermore, Audrey clearly loves both of them, and the *waves hands* nonsense between Duke and Nathan is so clearly ANYTHING BUT platonic, so really it's the only logical solution. Yup. And if you haven't heard of Haven, do yourself a favor! It's a surprisingly incredible SyFy show set in Maine but filmed in gorgeous Nova Scotia on FILM (not digital!). It's a bit like X-Files, with weird goings-on and a great male-female buddy cop dynamic, though they're both believers. There have been two (short) seasons so far and it got renewed for a third so you should catch up before season three starts in April!

And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VAMPIRE DIARIES. Lots of people told me they loved it but I was like pffff it's either marginally better Twilight or going to disappoint compared to Buffy. In fact, any comparisons to either vanished after the first few episodes. It starts in a place where it could become either, but really becomes its own thing. I've tried to articulate to myself how it's different from Buffy, and in the end I think the two are fundamentally different types of stories. Buffy is about the girl with a burden who has to fight evil with only love to support her, and it's about doing the right thing even when it's the most difficult. Vampire Diaries, on the other hand, is about loving so fiercely and blindly that almost anything is on the table if it's necessary to save that love. Elena and co. don't so much fight evil as do everything they can to protect their own, at nearly any cost. And the romantic part of Elena's love, at least, is focused on two incredibly dangerous dudes, no matter how defanged Stefan may seem. Um, in conclusion, I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS but TVD is really wonderful storytelling all on its own and I highly recommend it. If you've watched it, COME FLAIL WITH ME. CAROLINE. MATT. ALARIC. STEFANELENADAAAAAAMON. <3333 I tend to forget that shipping a OT3 with brothers in it might weird some people out, but uh, veteran of Supernatural fandom here, soooo... yeah that one wasn't such a leap for me. Whoops.

Speaking of Supernatural, I skipped season 6 but I'm really enjoying season 7! I'm afraid to say this because of the rotten tomatoes that will come my way, but it feels so much more like the show I know and love with Castiel gone (not just him but the whole angel nonsense). Dean and Sam are making me clutch my heart again! I have missed my boys everso. <3

SO! My dears! What on earth have you been up to? I'm gonna try to poke around my flist but clearly I have missed so much. (Again.) And if you really want to reconnect with me, I can now be found on Twitter pretty much all the time - I'm exsequar over there too! I'd love if you'd say hi! ♥

i am so very very drunk right now, drunker than i have been ni a while. noah heeld a night out and party atr his place. he usually hs potluck suppers ubt this wee k wit was just pizza. went with roomie emily.

seriouly very very very drunk. i should just go to e=seleep. its omly midnight! thire was this dude who was hot and a total slutth fluirt. snuggling with me AMND other girls a lot. i tied him up with pink dut tape seriously, be needed scissors to get out,it was great. itwas nie to even have physical connection with anybohy, indication of despiration i spose.

there was also mark, who is cute adn smart and funny and i like him a LOT. too bad he has agirlfried. i dunno how serious they arew but in grad school the fieldis narrowing in a srious way, bah. oh well i will find someone i hop.e

i have lots of work to do this weekend but i mgoin to karaoke tomorrow with francico and his lab. i love francsioc. i wish he wasnt probably gong to florida.

im really to drunk to even edit this shit, sorry. i should stp now.

PS ILOVED SUPERNATURL OMGGGGGG>

Supernatural Creation con in Chicago in November! WHO'S WITH ME?!?

Honestly, it's affordable, close enough, and the guest list is AWESOME!!!! Both Jensen and Jared, ALDIS HODGE, Alona Tal, Misha Misha Misha, Jim Beaver, etc etc! I'm seriously almost more excited to see Aldis than Jsquared. ALMOST. Regardless, I reeeeeeeally want to go. So who else is planning on it? And are Creation cons any good?

(ALDISSSS)

Unpopular opinions time! It's almost exhilarating, I never have those.

( Spoilery spoilers about boys. You know the ones. )