exsequar: (SN Boys against the world)
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posted by [personal profile] exsequar at 01:11am on 08/05/2009 under ,
Unpopular opinions time! It's almost exhilarating, I never have those.

Maybe I'm just an enormous wuss, but - THAT HURT. That hurt my heart and my soul and I am angry, okay! I am angry that they're doing this. It's unnatural and it's horrible and I know that's the point but - I didn't sign up for this! I don't enjoy seeing my two favorite characters ever spiral into pieces and break each other.

I feel like we've entered some bizarro world, and I am forever trying to find my feet, to see the Dean and Sam that I love in the characters who are on my screen.

I feel like an old woman, all "back in my day, everything was peachy keen and everyone's shit smelled like roses!" but.... it's just how I feel. I'm watching this show every week, I am, and I am horrified and invested and shouting at my screen, but the reason I am invested is because I am just waiting for that moment, that reconciliation that finally restores some sense of equilibrium. I didn't sign up for angels and Lucifer and the apocalypse! I want the dusty backroads of America back, I want those moments that make my heart constrict because Sam and Dean love each other so much.

I'm obviously here for the long haul, but if they don't return to the foundation of the show - which is that Sam and Dean love each other, full stop - I will, quite honestly, feel betrayed. They can go through this whole drama, okay, whatever, but they need to come out intact because it's what they do. That is the Winchester Way. And every second more of this is terrifying me that that's not the end game. If next season has them at odds, or Dean hunting Sam? Yeah you just try to make me watch that.

I'm still holding out hope. Everyone worth their salt affiliated with the show must know that SamandDean is their bread and butter. Not DeanandCastiel, not SamandRuby. Those are diversions. Except that I'm scared that I'm wrong there, that Kripke likes torturing us SO MUCH that he'll keep draaaawing it out and in the process commit character assassination.

That's enough bitching. I know it's considered raining on the parade, wah wah, but you know I've watched other shows about people who love each other where they keep loving each other! Shocker! Tearing apart your foundations just isn't necessary. And that's how I feel. I'll reserve my final judgment until the finale airs.

Let's take a moment to appreciate some of the moments in this episode. Little Colin Ford was so so awesome. And I was soooo happy to see Samantha Smith - however, is it just me or did she look REALLY different? Like her face has filled out, and she had a lot of mascara on or something? She was creepy, whatever was going on, but it was also a great scene. Oh Sam.

I think the most painful part was Sam hallucinating Dean bitching him out, intercut with Dean's anguished little face.

I do love that Dean was still able to find Sam, despite everything. Maybe there's still something there? Maybe? *hopeful face*

Sigh. I wish my show would stop hurting me. :(
Mood:: 'gloomy' gloomy
There are 19 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
posted by [identity profile] musictoyourlips.livejournal.com at 05:35am on 08/05/2009
My heart hurts. :(
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 05:43am on 08/05/2009
YOUR ICON. I can has?? *sadface*
posted by [identity profile] theaerosolkid.livejournal.com at 05:38am on 08/05/2009
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 05:42am on 08/05/2009
I think it's part of my problem that I DON'T like DeanandCastiel OR SamandRuby. I'm still stuck in GET OUT OF MY SHOW mode. Which is stupid. But I wanted it to be the SamandDean show foreverrrrr. INSTEAD I GET THIS. :(
posted by [identity profile] hopelessfangirl.livejournal.com at 05:43am on 08/05/2009
I think I heard somewhere that Samantha Smith recently had a baby, so that would explain the roundness in her face.

Other than that, I have no idea what else to say. I agree that it hurts to see things go this way, but it hurts so good. And I've never lost faith that the show will always be about Sam and Dean at the end of the day, so I'm just hopeful for the reconciliation and in the mean time will go along for the ride.
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posted by [identity profile] figletofvenice.livejournal.com at 05:53am on 08/05/2009
I sort of disagree that Sam and Dean don't love each other. They always love each other - it's just that sometimes they hate each other as much as they love each other. Which, I don't know, reminds me of the first season - Sam really didn't want to be there at all, and Dean was still busy feeling betrayed that Sam had left. Half of what I like about this show is their issues. The show is about their issues, and sort of always has been. I guess I just like that there are new dimensions to that.

(Also, Castiel is quite possibly my favorite character, but I know not everyone agrees with me. If they got rid of Castiel next season, I would be pissed as all get out, personally.)

ETA: I forgot to mention that I haven't seen tonights episode yet, so I have no idea how that goes. I assume something big happens. But, there is a whole next season, so they have a lot of time to clean up their messes, no matter how bad it gets.
Edited Date: 2009-05-08 05:55 am (UTC)
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 05:56am on 08/05/2009
Where "new dimensions" equals trying to strangle each other? Okay, they have issues, that's cool - but back in the day, those issues extended to Sam walking away in a hissy fit, and then calling each other the next day and basically confessing their love to each other. That's MY kind of issues. I guess I'm just too much of a wuss to deal with this dark shit.

I guess my main problem is that I don't empathize with Sam anymore. I've always been able to see both of their perspectives, but right now Sam is all "Trust me! I know exactly what I'm doing! *earnest eyes!*" and then he goes and STRANGLES DEAN! I'm just pissed at him and suspicious of Ruby and I just have no emotional grounding anymore.

I think, maybe, I'm in Dean's head. How Dean's feeling right now? Yup. That's me.
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posted by [identity profile] figletofvenice.livejournal.com at 06:03am on 08/05/2009
I feel you on not being able to empathize with Sam at this point. I still haven't seen the newest episode, but last week I realized that I care so much more about Dean and Castiel than I do about Sam. I think the show has a lot fix next season, and Sam is one of those things.

I liked Ruby so much better last season, if I'm going to be awesome. She was fucking badass. I'm still glad about the angels, though, because Castiel and Anna!

And, I mean, I like it when the show gets dark, which is, I suppose, the difference between us. Like, one reason I used to read SPN fic was because fic had the ability to be much darker than the show is. But I'm still assuming that this whole thing is going to end in fixing.

(Also, don't worry about spoiling me, I don't mind. I'm not particularly spoiler-phobic. :D)
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 06:07am on 08/05/2009
Castiel was sorta awesome for a little while, now he's Dicktown again and I'm just frustrated. And as for Anna, I loved her in her two-parter, but since then she seems to be nothing more than a plot device who pops in and scolds people for a while or warns them. I wish they had realized her potential more!

As for darkness, I used to read a hella lot of angsty Winchester fic too, and I loved that it could explore the psychological ramifications of their life so much better than the show ever could. But there's a difference between that (it was largely focused on how fucked up their codependence was) and this, at least to me.

Some comments Kripke has made make me think that even if there's a reconciliation on the horizon, it won't happen this season. He might leave us dangling in the wind. And that pisses me off.
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 05:57am on 08/05/2009
Oh wow I didn't see your ETA - I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to spoil you :(
posted by [identity profile] mybabyangel.livejournal.com at 07:11am on 08/05/2009
I second this entirely. DNW Dean&Cas, Sam&Ruby. Ruby can go DIAF and Cas... okay I like Castiel but HE IS NOT A SAM!REPLACEMENT. I miss the old days. ;_; Like in my icon where Sam could connect to Dean even when Dean was just a spirit or whatever.
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 09:36pm on 08/05/2009
SPEAK IT SISTER. Castiel (Cas?!???!?! I still can't take that seriously!) is NOT a Sam replacement, not even close. Sam needs to call Dean on that, just like he did with Dean replacing John with Gordon (sdlfkjlsjdmyheart) but Sam's too busy off being fucked in the head. D: Fix itttt.

And ohhh the days of barefoot Dean at the Ouija board! *sniffles* Their broken little HANDS.
posted by [identity profile] kaytvengeance.livejournal.com at 08:58pm on 08/05/2009
I've only been watching SPN for like a month (I dl'd all 4 seasons and watched them every night til I was caught up), so in a way I'm possibly not as affected as the people who've been in it since it started and actually had to wait between eps and seasons, but bloody hell that episode hurt nonetheless.

I am utterly convinced Ruby is a scheming minx who's probably working for Lucifer, and getting Sam to kill Lilith will probably open the seal (I'm going off of the promo shots of Lilith here). Lilith's number one, so she's supposed to sacrifice herself or something so Lucigfer can be free. I don't even know anymore.

I'm dreading next week, and the wait is gonna be awful. They need to fix it next season, they really do.

(also, you don't know me but hi *waves*, you're kinda awesome and I lurk)
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 09:34pm on 08/05/2009
Well hello there! Gosh I didn't know I had lurkers :) That's sweet, hee.

Wow, that's quite intense dedication! Isn't it SO FLIPPING AWESOME? Welcome to the Winchester party.... just as it's descending into bloody chaos. /o\ Not that they haven't been all screwed up before, but they've been screwed up together! That's what really gets me. It hurts my heart and I want it fixed, dammit! (The kind of hurt that hurts-so-good is when Sam dies in Dean's arms and then Dean looks like HE'S dead because he doesn't have his brother. That's MY kind of manpain, yaknow?)

I totally agree that Ruby has to have ulterior motives. They have never explained why Ruby is on Sam's side despite being a demon, so that leaves me to believe she actually isn't. I can't wait to see that payoff, honestly.

Aaaugh I'm too young to have heart problems D:
posted by [identity profile] inderpal.livejournal.com at 11:49pm on 08/05/2009
Hi, uhm, far as I know we have never talked, but I found this post through clicking links (as one does) and I couldn't agree more. After last night's mess, I actually had to rewatch AHBL, because while that hurts, it at least hurts in a good way. SPN has been and will always be the SamandDean show for me and this season has been so far from that, I want to throw the remote at the screen and/or hide under my blanket. I don't mind Castiel or Ruby, but I want my boys back! ;_;
posted by (anonymous) at 01:06am on 11/05/2009
So I just watched the episode. ;___; Remember when the show was killing demons and saving lives and there were brothers in it? I WANT THAT SHOW BACK. What the actual fuck is all this stuff with angels and Lucifer, show? I went along with their fights and their pain when it was Sam and Dean and their issues with each other that pulled them apart, but when it's a "higher/lower" power pulling the strings? I'm sorry, but I agree with you. Not what I signed up for!

I'm just so angry and upset right now.
posted by [identity profile] pau494.livejournal.com at 01:07am on 11/05/2009
Um, that was me, forgetting to sign in! *facepalm*
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 02:30am on 11/05/2009
Oh, haha! HI BB. Ilu <3 On the one hand I'm glad I'm not the only crazy person, but on the other I'm sad you're not enjoying it for your own sake! I'm still holding out hope that they'll fix it... but in the meantime I'm reading porn to heal my soul ;)
posted by [identity profile] exsequar.livejournal.com at 02:28am on 11/05/2009
I think you just put your finger on one of the things that's bothering me - it's not even just their own conflicts, it's external forces manipulating them against each other! Which SUCKS.

I'm sorry, are you someone I know? I'm just curious!


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