exsequar | Vid Post: Blind, by starsouls1013 (Anne)

Here's the video I premiered at WinCon! Enjoy!

Title: Blind
Artist: Placebo
Vidder:

starsouls1013 (Anne)
Fandom: Supernatural
Character/Pairings: Dean and Sam, Dean POV
Spoilers: Through Devil's Trap
Summary: "If I could tear you from the ceiling, I'd freeze us both in time..."
A/N: Endless thank yous to everyone who cheerled me along the way in this process.

mona1347 and

poisontaster were especially kind and effusive. ♥ A thousand thanks to my betas,

dualbunny and

ringwench for thoughtful and exceedingly helpful comments. And a huge shout out to

ringwench for organizing the WinCon vid show, which was absolutely STUNNING. It was so much fun to be able to premiere my baby at WinCon, and she made it possible! And finally a huge thank you to the AWESOME

whosjeebus for popping my files up on her hosting service so I can have permanent links for ya’ll!
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. Woe.

DOWNLOAD LINKS (right-click, save as):
Large (.avi, XviD): Blind 98 MB
Medium (.avi, XviD): Blind 40 MB

To view these videos, you’ll have to have the proper codec. I recommend downloading VLC, which is a media player that has pretty much every codec you’ll ever need and can play almost any video file you could dream of. Extremely handy.

Blind has won two awards at Friendly Neighborhood Video Awards:

And two awards at the Art of Vidding Awards:

And two at Path of the Heart Vidding Awards:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

“Blind” by Placebo

If I could tear you from the ceiling
And guarantee source divine
Rid you of possessions fleeting
Remain your funny valentine

Don’t go and leave me
And please don’t drive me blind
Don’t go and leave me
And please don't drive me blind

If I could tear you from the ceiling
I know the best have tried
I'd fill your every breath with meaning
And find the place we both could hide

Don’t go and leave me
And please don’t drive me blind
Don’t go and leave me
And please don't drive me blind

You don’t believe me
But you do this every time
Please don’t drive me blind
Please don’t drive me blind

I know you’re broken
I know you’re broken
I know you’re broken

If I could tear you from the ceiling
I’d freeze us both in time
And find a brand new way of seeing
Your eyes forever glued to mine.

Don’t go and leave me
And please don’t drive me blind
Don’t go and leave me
And please don’t drive me blind
Please don’t drive me blind
Please don’t drive me blind
Please don’t drive me blind
Please don’t drive me blind

I know you're broken
I know you're broken
I know you're broken

Well, the most basic thing is that the entire video is Dean speaking to Sam. There are three main things that Dean wants to say: 1) Don’t leave me again, 2) Stop wounding me so often with your words and actions, and 3) I wish I could save you/protect you from this pain. Dean is struggling with the fierce, passionate love he has for Sammy and all the pain that that love keeps throwing back in his face.

The first statement (Don’t leave me) has two levels, which I use at different points in the vid – one is that Dean doesn’t want Sam to return to school, to ditch the hunting life again. Dean only feels whole when Sam is around, and Sam seems to be pulled by his idea of “normality” away from the relationship that he and Dean share. The second layer of “leaving” is death – Sam is in danger SO many times during the first season, and Dean is begging Sam to not leave him alone, once and for all, in that sense. So on many of the “Don’t go and leave me” lines, I have Dean desperately trying to save Sammy from the Monster of the Week. Dean wishes more than anything else that he could keep Sam out of danger, that his little brother’s life wouldn’t be risked on a daily basis.

The second part is Dean’s pain when Sam says things like, “How the hell could you know how I feel?” (or something like that – I’m too lazy to open up Scarecrow) and is just generally insensitive and selfish, because Sam definitely is sometimes, and part of it is because of his hero worship of Dean – he doesn’t realize how fragile Dean is, how emotionally dependent Dean is on Sam, so he whips out these cruel barbs and they just lodge in Dean permanently. So the "please don't drive me blind" thread is Dean wishing Sam would just stop doing that.

The third is Dean’s desperate, all-consuming desire to save Sam. This is all encapsulated in his (ohmyacheyheart) line in Something Wicked, “If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.” It hurts Dean that the one thing he treasures most in the world is subjected to the brutal world of hunting that, while Dean feels at home in it, is violent and cruel. This sentiment is focused around the repeated line in the song, “If I could tear you from the ceiling.” Of COURSE when I was choosing a song, that line jumped out at me, and I just hoped that the rest of the song would be as perfect – which it turned out to be! I immediately knew I wanted to dodge the literal route – the video I wanted to make was about Sam and Dean, and no one else except in how they affect DeanandSam. So I consciously avoided most of the woman-on-ceiling shots (there’s a brief one of blue!Jess from Sam’s dream, but it’s not even on this line) and instead stuck with a metaphorical interpretation of the “ceiling” as the entire plight that the Demon has put them in. Here, “tearing Sam from the ceiling” is Dean rescuing Sam from what he has been “chosen” for, but he is unable to completely do so – he helps as much as he can (giving support during visions; saving Sam from the burning houses TWICE; shooting hot-unnamed-son-of-Demon to save Sam) but he wishes desperately that he could do more.

The video has an arc that starts with Dean saying all of these things to a brick wall – Sam keeps wanting to leave, Sam keeps being selfish and doing things that hurt Dean. But by the end of the video, the “don’t go and leave me”s are paired with clips where Sam doesn’t leave, where he chooses DEAN, stands by Dean’s side, finally gets fully comfortable in their bond. This manifests itself in the final chorus with clips of Sam saving Dean in Faith and Nightmare, as well as choosing Dean when Dean says he thinks John is possessed. These are hopeful signs of Sam’s growth and understanding of what Dean has been pleading of him this entire time. I am overjoyed to see this pattern of maturity and selflessness continuing gorgeously into the second season – our little Sammy is truly growing up! :)

The “I know you’re broken” parts are, obviously, Dean acknowledging that part of Sam’s unintentional shredding of Dean at every turn is Sam’s scars from Jess’s death. Dean knows that, he does, and he wants Sam to heal, but at the same time he wants Sam to stay there for Dean. This video is Dean’s semi-selfish internal thoughts, but Dean is the most selfless person ever, so that’s why he never really voices or pushes any of them on Sam.

Oh Dean. Best big brother in the WORLD.

Just a couple of my favorite moments, visually and thematically, because I know I’m always curious to see what other vidders are most pleased with in their own work.

2:21 – The turning motion of Sam’s head (thematically important because there he is making his decision, Dean or Dad, Dean or Dad) transitioning into the demon tackling him off screen in the same direction. Yay for internal motion!

2:31 – “I’d freeze us both in time.” This was the first concrete clip idea I had in my head when I first really listened to this song. I could have cut this verse for length, but I just had to keep it in for this line. Dean wishes so much he could turn back the clock and just be baby Dean with his little baby Sammy to take care of, in a normal big brother way. That way, Sammy would be safe. So there’s Dean running backwards to the crib, and the kissing of the forehead – that’s the pre-Demon happy place, that is.

2:35 – Continuing from that moment, this series of three images makes me so happy – wee!Dean kissing wee!Sammy, notsowee!Sam leaning down over broken Dean in DT, and Dean crouching down by Lucas in DITW. The motion of the three together, all moving downward in frame, just works so well for me. Thematically, we’ve reached the part of the video where Sam Chooses Dean, and that moment is one of the key indications of that fact (Sam steps OVER John to get to Dean – oh man).

Okay and I will shut up now.

I hope you all enjoyed the vid! Feedback is GREATLY appreciated. Really. Even if it’s just a short reaction – though in depth reactions are awesome too ;)

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Blind - Placebo