And if you get to heaven

[exsequar]

I tend to call my good friends "dear" and "love" all the time lately. It's kind of a weird verbal quirk I've developed out of nowhere. I don't know. Anyway, the other day Niall called me "dear" and it was seriously the most adorable thing that's ever happened. There was kind of a half second pause where we both blinked, and then someone pressed unpause and we carried on like nothing had happened. I seriously love him so much and want to keep him forever.

Today was tragically wasted on lunch with the girls and lazing around and doing NOTHING. I kept meaning to start studying and then, um. Didn't. I got halfheartedly started this evening but basically didn't accomplish anything. It's such a dauntingly massive pile of information, it's just impossible to know where to start. But I got my head around it enough that I'll be able to get started bright and early tomorrow, and then go for Cosmos and the Sex and the City movie with a gay boy (and clayeer!) tomorrow night. EXCITED!

Good news - my roommate is working things out with her boyfriend. I think he's finally cooled down and come around and used his brain, and she's laughing and eating like normal again. I'm so relieved.

My other roommate, Megan, leaves tomorrow. She's been so weird all year, holing up in the apartment downstairs with her boyfriend. So it's kind of awkward figuring out how to say goodbye. She actually really wants to leave and has no friends here to say goodbye to. What a waste of a year, you know? Eh, whatever.

I talked to Emily, the one who left yesterday and a good friend of mine, online today. She says it's really nice to be home but she also misses Dublin a lot. She loves her family and her home so I'm glad she has that now to comfort her. She gets to be there all summer because she's working there, which made me realize how I'm...not going to be. I get home, run around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to accomplish things for a week, hug my parents a few times, and then move to Pennsylvania to live in an apartment by myself and work all summer. Rob will be moving in in July, but I will be alone in my apartment for the weeks in which I will be most emotionally vulnerable. I'll be calling my friends in Ireland every day in order to avoid a breakdown :(

My journal has essentially become entirely personal - I'm sorry about that. I'm sure I'll bury myself in fannish things this summer to distract myself. But right now I want to remember every second of my remaining time here, so. I hope you're not too bored!

<3

Comments

[clayeer.livejournal.com]

sad face D: but also happy face! :D because even though we've missed a whole year of potential fangirling, theres still time!

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

There's still a little time, yes! And it's going to be a lot of fun! I still don't know what time exactly, I'll get back to you about that.

[iamsupernova.livejournal.com]

Never need to apologize for writing about life things in your LJ, seriously!

I'm glad to hear your roommmate is working things out with her boyfriend.

I kept meaning to start studying and then, um.
Hah, story of my LIFE, dude.

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

Oh good point, okay, I won't do that again ^_^

UGH STUDYING. DNW.

[hebrew-hernia.livejournal.com]

Re: getting back and feeling completely alone: I am only about an hour drive away, and I will basically be desperate to get the hell out of my house by the time you are moving in, so I can drive up/down/over (for lo, I do not know the correct preposition) basically whenever and we can watch Atlantis and Farscape and whatever else, if you want.

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

Oh sweetie. Thank you. I will definitely be taking you up on that offer. I have friends who will be in Lancaster, and I'll love seeing them, but you've been reading my journal all year and have a sense of what I've gone through. It'll be different. Plus, you're awesome, so. <3