exsequar: (Girlyrock - MCR - Frankie does not want)
First, thank you for all the sweet comments on my last entry. I really appreciate them, but may not get back to them due to the next two weeks' goal to SUCK MY SOUL.

And this was not an auspicious beginning.

I just drove back to school. It should have taken 5 hours. Instead it took 8.

This is my sad face.

First: It was raining. Constantly. The entire time. GROSS.

Second: The holiday traffic made it take TWO HOURS to go ten miles and get over the Tappan Zee Bridge. Driving a stick shift. Yeah.

Third: My tail lights have stopped working? We replaced the fuse, but people started flashing their lights at me so we checked and yep. Out again. We replaced the fuse again, hoping it would last us here, but no. Dead. I drove three hours with hazard lights on.

Fourth: I was cruising at 50 MPH and didn't realize I was coming to a stupid traffic light on what's basically a highway, so I tried to come to a fast stop and my wheels did not like the wet pavement. We fishtailed a bit and I had to yank myself into the left turn lane to not hit someone. It turned out fine, but it was fucking scary.

Fifth: I HATE THE FUCKING WORLD D: D: D:
exsequar: (Girlyrock - MCR - Gee Helena)
I'm just going to copy the email I just sent my parents. I don't have the energy to say it all again.

My laptop is, at least for the moment, dead. Or I suppose you could say it's in a coma. Anyway, my computer cannot communicate with its hard drive and thus will not start up. No one seems to know exactly what's wrong - it could either be the hard drive is completely corrupted and just dead, or it could be that the connection is broken. Either way, it's probably going to be a bitch to get it to a repair place, and cost an arm and a leg, as I'm pretty sure the problem was caused by my dropping the laptop a few months ago and fucking up the hinge, and thus the connection to the hard drive. That's the working theory, anyway.

Kate is being very generous and has offered to basically share her computer with me for a while. Niall (one of the computer science guys) has a device by which you can directly connect to a hard drive outside of a computer and take information off it. We're going to try to see if we can rescue my lab report and other stuff that way. That will also help us figure out whether it's the hard drive or the connection that's the problem.

Basically it sucks. I also woke up sick this morning. I really hope that this time the bad things are going to stop at three.

/email to parents

I want to cry, I really do. This is the worst possible time for this to have happened. Tonight is the sci fi Annual General Meeting (read: free booze), and my head cold bedamned, I am getting trashed. I just. I need to get out of my head for a little while.

Needless to say, I'm going to be a bit out of touch for a while. I'd appreciate if you gave me a heads up to any particularly exciting shenanigans. Like, you know, if Gerard Way blinks or something. (Heh, kidding! ...sorta)

UGH.
exsequar: (SGA McShep DAMMIT McKay!)
Hahahahahahaha.

Um.

So it seems like when things in my life go to shit, they go to shit with a VENGEANCE. (You all remember October/November right?)

Today was sucky. I was tired, missing James, overwhelmed with work, and just sad in general. The elevator was broken when I got back to my apartment. I started crying when I got to my room. You know, that kind of day.

AND THEN MY COMPUTER DIED.

Oh yeah, life went there.

When I start it up, I get a grey screen with a flashing folder icon and a question mark. This apparently means that it is "failing to find the startup drives". Either my physical hard drive is fried (which means, bye bye everything on there. I have a lot backed up on my hard drive, but not the lab report I spent the last two days writing, fuck) or there's a software malfunction and they might be able to fix it by booting from an OS X disk. Of course I don't happen to have one of those, so I have to take it in tomorrow.

FUCK. ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO TRY, LIFE? SERIOUSLY, BRING IT ON.

I had planned this whole introspective post where I consider my headspace right now and how much I hate when I get negative, fatalistic and depressive, how much this month is going to SUCK HARDCORE, and how much I do not want to go home.

Now I just want to laugh until I cry.

My dad isn't answering his phone either. Meredith, if you read this, tell him to email me, or email me letting me know he's home or something, okay? at my starlight address.

UGH.

August 2023

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