As you cry

[exsequar]

Hello Livejournal.

I have so many things I want to say, feelings and stories and declarations of undying love, but I don't know if I can find the words right now. I should make this post when I am not hungover from some ungodly combination of Guinness, cranberry and whiskey, Desperados beer, tequila (from the bottle), and whatever the hell was in Dara's glass. But I wanted to put down... something. I wish I had been posting constantly for the past week, to chronicle my last days here, but I have been rather too busy experiencing said last days, so. It has been a beautiful, epic week full of friends and laughter and good, good times. I feel so blessed to have had these people, this place, this experience in my life.

The hugest goodbye last night was Louise and Paddy. I'm tearing up again just thinking about it. I put my arms around Louise and just burst into wracking sobs. I think I hugged and kissed each of them about ten times, and it was the most emotionally intense thing I've been through in a long time. They are both such beautiful, pure, kind people who have become incredibly close to my heart. I will be talking to them every day back in the States to keep myself sane.

This morning we put Cary in a taxi. It nearly broke me again.

Tomorrow I fly away. I have to say goodbye to Kate, Niall, and Dara. To say I'm not looking forward to it is the understatement of the year. Before I do that, I have to clean up our bombzone of an apartment and pack ALL of my shit. It's a rather terrifying prospect, especially given that I still have three drunk boys sleeping in various places. James is so bad off that he can't even keep down water. But I will achieve it, somehow. It's only noon.

I am just so overwhelmed by everything. I don't know if I'm strong enough for this.

Comments

[jebbypal]

*hugs*

I vote for putting the mobile boys to work at cleaning...

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

*hugs a lot*

They wouldn't do it! The bastards just lay around. I ended up flopping on a bed with Dara because i just couldn't face the cleanup. And he was warm.

My face -> :(

[iltaru]

You are, sweetheart. You are strong enough.

I can't imagine what it's like, so I'll just send you love and hugs, and say that I'm definitely going to have to come and see you! I was sad that we only managed one afternoon!

And remember - you always have a place that's yours, that you can return to and share it with the people you love as and when you wish. The pain of the leaving will preserve it in your memory and make the experience all the sweeter when you finally come back again.

Also - you know how sometimes people get a feel for what might happen in their lives? The path they see ahead of them? Whatever you see Stateside, you know that there could quite feasibly be a life for you this side of the Atlantic, should you ever choose it ;)

So, many many hugs. ~sends strength vibes~

Good luck and best best wishes!

Joy xxxx

[maleyka.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight*

It's not going to be as bad as it feels right now. I mean, yeah, it's going to suck having left everyone behind, but also, you'll be back home, and that's pretty awesome. And they'll still be there. Just a little bit farther away. ♥

[exsequar.livejournal.com]

They will still be there. I think that will have to keep me going. The thing is that I'm going home... for a week. Then I go to live by myself in an apartment at college to work all damn summer. It kind of sucks. I want nothing to be with my dad constantly for the next few months, but I really can't.

Also, Dublin actually feels more like home. I know it's insane, but... there it is.

Thanks sweetie *hugs*

[theaerosolkid.livejournal.com]

♥

[redbrickrose.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight* You are strong enough, but God, that must be hard. Sending good vibes your way, sweetie. Good luck.

[pau494.livejournal.com]

<3333333333 ILUUUU BABY. So many hugsss!!!

[schneestern.livejournal.com]

You can do it darling. I'm wishing you all the strength in the world!

[musical-emjay.livejournal.com]

Oh, darling. I know it hurts right now, and that it's gonna hurt worse real soon, but you'll be OK. And so will everyone else you're leaving behind. You're stronger than you might think, at least to me, anyway. *hugs*

Keep your chin up, hold everyone close while you've got them, and have a safe flight. ♥ ♥ ♥