one more miracle

Originally posted by electricdruid at The fiasco continues

I fail so much at LJ, you guys. Fail ever so much. :( I really really miss it, but I also feel like my life has progressed past that phase. I don't have time to lose myself in fic or the details of so many lives, as much as I'd want to. Even though I feel like I'm kind of a shitty grad student, I'm still a grad student, and that means busy. :(

Life updates since June... well, lots! I did a three month internship this summer which was... okay. Not exactly revelatory. I spent half of it writing a grant for my grad school work and trying not to puke because I'm SO BAD AT PLANNING SCIENCE, and the other half trying to figure out what I want to do instead because research is clearly not my destiny. I landed on science publishing, which basically entails working as an editor at a scientific journal, coordinating with authors and reviewers and generally shaping the journal's content and interactions with the world. I obviously need to finish my PhD so I'll do that and then look for editorial positions. I'm really excited about this new direction and hope it turns into a rewarding career.

I also went to Germanyyyyyy :D And also Dublin but that was a short visit, sadly. Still got to see some of my favorite friends though. But the majority of the trip was two weeks backpacking through Germany with my friend Sarah (who I met through the German football fandom!). We went to (in order) München (Munich), Chiemsee, Nürnberg (Nuremberg), Mainz, Karlsruhe, Köln (Cologne), Oldenburg, Hamburg, Fehmarn, and Berlin! The trip was whirlwind paced but I was so glad we got to see all the things we did. We attended four football matches, I met MY BELOVED LEWIS HOLTBY *points at icon and makes high pitched noises* after he scored 2 goals for the German U21s, we watched Germany beat Brazil, Mainz beat Leverkusen, and Bayern beat Wolfsburg. IT WAS AMAZING. We stayed with lots of friends of mine, new and old, some I've known forever but hadn't gotten to meet yet or only met once (*waves at novafairy, nebulein, and maleyka). My favorite city was Berlin (we only had A DAY! I want to spend a week there!) but they were all beautiful and unique. It was truly an amazing trip and only whetted my appetite for travel (and Europe) even further. And I cannot recommend backpack travel enough!! Sure I didn't have many clothes, but we did laundry twice and I only had ONE bag to deal with that I could just sling on my back, easy peasy. Such a freeing experience!

Josh and I fizzled out in September, a little while after I got back from Germany. It was a long time coming, sadly. We burned bright but only for a short while. I learned things about myself from that experience AND I had a hell of a lot of fun, so what more can you ask for? I haven't met a new guy yet, though there's a couple I've been talking to on OK Cupid who are intriguing.

I also moved apartments so now I live with one person instead of four (my current roomie was also one of the four, so no big adjustment there). We love our new apartment and I LOOOOOOVE my room. We're staying here for at least two years.

Fannishly, I have two new major TV loves: HAVEN and THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. To sum up: sdlkfjlsdkfjlsjfOT3OT3OT3!!!!! The triangles on these two shows BLOW ME AWAY. They have some similar dynamics but are at the same time drastically different and I love them *so much*. Some people choose Duke/Audrey or Nathan/Audrey or of course Duke/Nathan... I say why choose? They're ALL amazing and deserve to have each other. Furthermore, Audrey clearly loves both of them, and the *waves hands* nonsense between Duke and Nathan is so clearly ANYTHING BUT platonic, so really it's the only logical solution. Yup. And if you haven't heard of Haven, do yourself a favor! It's a surprisingly incredible SyFy show set in Maine but filmed in gorgeous Nova Scotia on FILM (not digital!). It's a bit like X-Files, with weird goings-on and a great male-female buddy cop dynamic, though they're both believers. There have been two (short) seasons so far and it got renewed for a third so you should catch up before season three starts in April!

And DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON VAMPIRE DIARIES. Lots of people told me they loved it but I was like pffff it's either marginally better Twilight or going to disappoint compared to Buffy. In fact, any comparisons to either vanished after the first few episodes. It starts in a place where it could become either, but really becomes its own thing. I've tried to articulate to myself how it's different from Buffy, and in the end I think the two are fundamentally different types of stories. Buffy is about the girl with a burden who has to fight evil with only love to support her, and it's about doing the right thing even when it's the most difficult. Vampire Diaries, on the other hand, is about loving so fiercely and blindly that almost anything is on the table if it's necessary to save that love. Elena and co. don't so much fight evil as do everything they can to protect their own, at nearly any cost. And the romantic part of Elena's love, at least, is focused on two incredibly dangerous dudes, no matter how defanged Stefan may seem. Um, in conclusion, I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS but TVD is really wonderful storytelling all on its own and I highly recommend it. If you've watched it, COME FLAIL WITH ME. CAROLINE. MATT. ALARIC. STEFANELENADAAAAAAMON. <3333 I tend to forget that shipping a OT3 with brothers in it might weird some people out, but uh, veteran of Supernatural fandom here, soooo... yeah that one wasn't such a leap for me. Whoops.

Speaking of Supernatural, I skipped season 6 but I'm really enjoying season 7! I'm afraid to say this because of the rotten tomatoes that will come my way, but it feels so much more like the show I know and love with Castiel gone (not just him but the whole angel nonsense). Dean and Sam are making me clutch my heart again! I have missed my boys everso. <3

SO! My dears! What on earth have you been up to? I'm gonna try to poke around my flist but clearly I have missed so much. (Again.) And if you really want to reconnect with me, I can now be found on Twitter pretty much all the time - I'm exsequar over there too! I'd love if you'd say hi! ♥

Look! I'm posting again already! :O Could this be a renaissance?!

Let's talk about some fun movies and teevee! Last night I went to see Thor with Josh because he's a big ol geek, and I had heard it's fun. ( Some thoughts. )

When I was looking up times for Thor, I saw that Kyle Chandler is in JJ Abrams' new movie, Super 8, so I checked out the trailer. It looks pretty cool and I thought I might see it. But then I saw EW's review which called it "loving, playful, and spectacularly well made" and I simply can't NOT see this film now. I mean. KYLE CHANDLER. Eric Taylor from Friday Night Lights! As a sheriff! With his gravelly voice and his sweet eyes on the BIG SCREEN. Obviously I am seeing this film ASAP.

As for The Tee-Vee, I have been keeping up with the fantaaaaastic Game of Thrones, but I am one episode behind so please don't spoil me for that one! I have read the books so it's an interesting experience watching such a tense drama when I already know most of the twists. It's still incredibly engaging and compelling so major kudos to the creators and writers for that. My favorite casting is by far Daenerys, she's otherworldly and young yet has this incredible steel thread running through her, she's breathtaking. I also love little Arya, and Jon Snow (KIIIIT <3), and I also like Catelyn a lot because I feel much more sympathetic to her than I do in the books. Tyrion is, of course, magnificent, and Jaime? Screen door, hurricane, etc. Yummm. Lena Headey is not at all how I envisioned Cersei, but she's doing a brilliant job. So yes! Thank you to HBO to bringing this massive series to life, it's such a delight. If you haven't read the books, I'd be very curious to hear what you think about the series! (You can point me to posts if you've posted about it, trying to catch up around here is tough!)

I am SO HAPPY White Collar is back. sdlfkjlsdf. I don't really have much else to say because it's not the most thinky of shows but NEAL AND PETER AND EL AND MOZZIE *grabbyhands* Also the internet has erupted with THE BEST CASTING SPOILER OF ALL TIME EVER, and I will die when episode 3x09 comes out. *______* I also watched Castle eagerly every week and I'm quite sad it's over for now. That was a super epic finale and I can't WAIT til it comes back. Bones... I still love Bones, but the finale made me roll my eyes and go "really?". Unfortunately. :( We can talk about that if you want but I'm sure it's been hashed over many times.

DOCTOR WHOOOOOO. Ahh it is delightful. Ten is still my favorite, but Eleven is delightful and whimsical and HIS LITTLE BOWTIE and yes. Melikey. I grow fonder of Amy every day and ROOOOORY. ♥ That was a pretty epic midseason finale, I must say. The other night, my friend (who has been watching the whole series from the beginning, he LOVES it) asked me to watch the season 4 finale with him, so of course I did and had my heart born and ripped to shreds again. SO AMAZING/HORRIBLE AT THE SAME TIME. *flails*

Man I have missed just flailing about in blog posts about this stuff! It feels good to be back. ♥

And to round this post off, I simply have to gush about Josh a little bit. Feel free to skip. ;) ( Cut for your convenience! )

Okay that's enough babbling for now. I'm at the stage where I want to TELL THE WHOLE WORLD HOW I FEEL!!!!! and LJ is an excellent outlet for that, where no one's really obligated to listen but you still feel like you've gotten it out of your system. *g*

So one of my New Year's resolutions is to try to reconnect with LJ. I'll probably fail miserably, but I genuinely miss both the community and the amazing record of my life LJ was for such a long time, so I'd really like to get back into the swing of it. Twitter is a serious hindrance, and I have a whole other social life there, but I'm going to try my hardest. If you DO have Twitter though, please do follow me - I'm exsequar there too and always reachable. :) It's not at all about soccer/football anymore, I made a separate account, so if you're worried about that, please don't be! I'd love to talk to you. ♥

Starting small, I'm just going to make a Life post about my week and stuff! So on Tuesday I completed a reasonably large hurdle of my PhD program - the second year seminar. It's kind of a warm up for our candidacy exams but felt pretty huge on its own. Basically I had to make a 20 minute presentation on my research, presenting to people outside of my lab for the first time. This meant that I had to very clearly introduce the material for people unfamiliar with my field, present and justify my hypothesis, and present what data I have that supports that hypothesis before, as well as providing a coherent plan for my research moving forwards. I also felt I had to be very very comfortable with the literature because I could get ANY questions afterward. What this basically meant was that I spent 4 days with my family for Christmas, then immediately began spending 10-12 hours in lab every day, reading papers and putting together my presentation, as well as getting that last crucial piece of data. I bought a lot of frozen food and essentially lived in my lab. But it paid off, because my presentation went great! My actual slides ended up really pretty - including a model I built from scratch using Adobe Illustrator because all the old ones my lab uses are so ugly - and my labmates and boss helped me construct a clear, coherent narrative so it felt fluent and comfortable. Then I got a really great set of questions and was able to easily answer them all, with bonus references to the literature because I had spent all that time reading! I got lots of positive feedback afterward, and my dad even got to see it and was very proud. I'm so relieved to have it done, but I'm also really proud of how well it went. It was the first time I felt maybe I could really do this thing - that is, be a grownup. Not necessarily a scientist, but a grownup. It's a step in the right direction. ;)

I then spent the rest of this week turning that presentation into a poster to give at a conference this weekend in Chicago! It's a very busy week, yes it is. It's the same conference that I went to last year and I really enjoyed it then, so I'm happy to be going again, I look forward to it. I also get to meet up with some darling fangirls tomorrow night so I'm excited. :D After all of this whirlwind, then it's just back to the normal grindstone of lab research. Doing all of this work on making my project clear to others has made it clearer to ME too though, so I hope that I'll feel a bit more confident in my research as I move forwards.

Also super exciting is THE BUNDESLIGA STARTS BACK UP TOMORROW!!!!! *giddy wriggling* That's the German football league for the majority of you out there who are totally lost. :P It's been on hiatus since before Christmas and I have been DYING of boredom. I mean, it was good timing because I wouldn't have been half as focused on my work if it hadn't been on break, but now it's coming BACK and I couldn't be more excited. :DDD I get my beautiful baby Lewis and my badass Basti and hopefully both Mainz and Bayern kicking ass and taking names. I can't help it, I love Mainz, sorry to my Bayern girls out there. At this point I just want both of them to do really well. It's kind of inevitable that Bayern will end up in at least second, so I don't feel bad for rooting for Mainz to do the best they very can. At this point I would like to register a prediction for the end of the season, and we'll see how far off I am: Borussia Dortmund, Bayern Munich, Bayer Leverkusen, Schalke 05, Mainz. That would put Mainz in the Europa League next year, which would be a fantastic achievement for my little baby club. ♥ (And little Lewis has been hinting that he'd like to stay in Mainz for another year... oh please please pleeeease let it happen, football gods!)

In hilarious fandom-sports related news (yes that was a totally valid segue), Johnny Weir is coming to my Borders for a book signing. Lol. Lololol. I'm tempted to go just for the lolz but I should really be at work at that time, so I probably won't. Oh Johnny. Maybe I'll feel the force of his sparkling from my lab.

Speaking of sparkling, OMG THIS T-SHIRT. Dear My Chemical Cupcakes, ILU. (Danger Days is still, like, the best album ever. Well, after Three Cheers. But OMG SO GOOD.)

Last night I saw I Love You Phillip Morris!! I've been wanting to see this ever since I heard it was being made like three years ago. EWAN MCGREGOR!!!!! Ugh, he was so precious and wonderful, all blonde and earnest and Texan and sweet and I WANTED TO PUT HIM IN MY POCKET. I mean, Jim Carrey was great too, and it was a really good film, funny and weird and poignant and tragic. I enjoyed it a whole lot. But mostly EWAN!!! I now want to watch every single film he's done again. Yes even The Pillow Book. Ewannnnnnn. I miss him. *draws pink sparkly hearts*

I should probably pack for Chicago.... so I'll leave you with that. It felt really good to write an LJ post again, I'm not gonna lie, so hopefully I'll start being able to keep it up. Tell me what's up with you, darlings!

Oh my god. *________* Best celebrity tweet I've gotten in ages. LIEBGOTT LOVES NIX, YOU GUYS. Heeee!