one more miracle

I haven't been posting pretty much at all, and it's really unfortunate. Kind of a bad side effect of Twitter - I already feel like i've talked about myself enough every day, I don't really feel the pressing need to make a blog post. But I know LJ is so much more lasting and coherent than Twitter updates, so I'm going to force myself to make a long one now. Feel free to skip as much as you like - I just need to have this on the record, so to speak. Now with handy headers for skimming!

The Midwest Stress Response and Molecular Chaperone Meeting
I went to that conference in Chicago with Jason's lab, and it was great! It was a topic-specific meeting, for our very small field, so I understood everything quite well (much better than at a typical mixed-topic conference) and learned a lot about the state of the field and how people approach the questions in it. I got to talk to the woman whose work is the inspiration for my own - she's an experienced professor who was quite intimidating, but I'm glad at least that she now knows who I am and is at least marginally aware of what I want to do. Even better, I talked to her postdoc who did some work that's really interesting to me, and I asked him how he accomplished a particular experiment, and he was like "Oh I'll just send you what we used!" which is actually a pretty hefty collection of really useful tools (overexpression plasmids, for the scientists in the crowd) that will really help give my project a kick in the pants. When/if I join the lab! The weekend gave me great hope that I will in fact join - just the fact that Jason brought me along, and a long conversation we had about the possible directions for my project. I also had a great time hanging out with the people in the lab, and all in all it just reinforced my certainty that this is the place for me, and that Jason thinks so too. So yay. :D (Update: I just forwarded an email conversation I had with that postdoc to Jason, and Jason replied almost immediately with "Thanks Anne - this is exactly what we need." :D I'm so proud of myself! I started a collaboration all on my own! \o/)

Second semester classes
Classes have been going fine. Remember that new academic experiment I told you about, where every class is 10 students giving presentations but no actual lectures? Well, it's actually working out much better than I expected. It still sucks having to put together two presentations a week, but it's getting easier with practice, and the two talks I've given have gone really well. And the other people's talks have been much better than I expected! I've learned about a wide range of topics and all in all it's been quite cool. Props to Dr. Sherman for totally pulling it off, in complete contrast to Dr. Fuckhead from last semester. :P My other class is low key and simple, though our big project, to pitch a new "product" to accomplish some biotech goal, is a little intimidating. I tentatively like the people in my group, though I'm holding out judgment on that.

Second lab rotation (anti-cancer)
Lab is fine. I've only just gotten started doing my own experiments. My first one went quite well, reproducing nicely the results of our very experienced tech, so that's encouraging. I did another, very big, experiment for three days, but I still need two MORE days before I actually get the result, and there's no way of knowing right now if it went well. I'm nervous, but I think I did everything right and it should come out at least reasonably well! *crosses fingers* Working with my new boss, Zaneta, is very different than Jason. She's very smart and I think I'll learn a lot from her, but she's also rather more hands-on. Which is fine, it will just take some adjusting. As for cancer research, I'm less excited about it than what I was doing before, because it's so... I don't know, dismal? "Successes" in the cancer field are analogous to dismal failures in other diseases. It's just very difficult for me. I know it needs to be done, and something is better than nothing, but I know it's not for me. Which is fine, since I definitely can't join this lab, so in the meantime I'll just learn and absorb techniques and do the best job I can.

Auto Show!
In NOT science-related things (seriously - I guess this is the life of a grad student!) I went to the Detroit International Auto Show yesterday with my uncle and three little girl cousins! It was AWESOME!! You may know that I LOVE CARS. Like, A LOT. So to roll around in them for four hours was beyond heaven. :DDD And while the Maserati and Lexus concept car and the Audis and the Maybach and the Teslas were gorgeous and sexy as fuck, I'm at heart a modest-yet-badass kind of car lover, so the highlight for me was sitting behind the wheels of a Camaro (unf, you guys, UNFFFFFF), a Mustang, a Challenger, and a Charger. The latter two have rather cheap interiors, but I wanted so badly to put the pedal to that metal. :D My other very favorite (and the display I lingered around the most, sighing wistfully) was the Mazdas. I have mentioned that I have a very serious desire to purchase a Mazda 3 or a Mazda 2, and after sitting in the former and gazing upon the latter, I have an even more serious desire! They're so pretty and small and sporty and fun. The hatchback model means I'd still have some cargo space, and by all accounts they have fun, zippy handling that would be a sheer delight. Let's have some pictures! ( Sassy little lime green cars behind the cut! )

Sorry, sorry, I'll stop drooling now. In conclusion: CARS!!!! :DDD I had a great time with my uncle and cousins, and afterwards I went to their place for a delicious homemade meal of grilled whitefish and swordfish, om nom nom. It was a lovely day, if entirely exhausting!

Afterwards, I drove straight to Francisco's house here in Ann Arbor to hang out with him and Steffen, Kate, and Jenna. We watched CENTERSTAGE and MONSTERS, INC. Why yes, I love my friends, thanks for asking. :DDD Eion Bailey in Centerstage was beyond adorable, omfg. How is he so beautiful??? :D

Lol dolphin trainers

The night before the auto show, my roomies said they were going out for "a drink" so I said why the hell not. We went to a bar, actually sat AT the bar for once, and promptly met two cute grad students who were completely ridic. I was already quite tipsy from beer at dinner, proceeded quickly to drunk with a margarita, and landed squarely on smashed after the guys bought us tequila shots. Oops. :) The guys managed to convince drunk!me that one of them was a dolphin trainer here at Michigan, which, lol - cause there are TOTALLY dolphins in Michigan. I bet they're still proud of pulling that one over on a poor guillible drunk girl. :P I got waaay too cozy with the other dude, but not illicitly, just super-affectionate like I can be. After a couple hours, they walked us home and we said adios - doubt we'll ever see them again, but boy was that FUN. I had forgotten how much fun it can be to just go out, meet random people, and have a good time. In fact, I've been more social in the last three days than I have in three months, which brings me to my final point:

Dave

Dave and I are on a break right now. It's complicated. I've got a mixture of relief, guilt, sadness, and uncertainty, and it's really hard to talk about. So I'm not going to sully this post with that. Maybe some other time.

Last but not least, Teevee

I haven't even seen the new Supernatural yet, but this week's Bones was FANTASTIC. HODGINNNNNS. *squooshes him* If they're going where I think they're going, COUNT ME COMPLETELY IN. BWEE. Also, Castle was lovely and touching and Kaaaaate. Poor darling strong wonderful girl. The tone was definitely more serious than usual (NO ALEXIS *pout*) but it worked reasonably well. Continues to be one of the best shows on TV, with the most heart. ♥

Some variation of the plague has caught me. Woe. :( Just in time for two tests and a concert, yaye! >:(

I just... wanted to share my misery. idk. It's not the flu, I don't have a fever and I'm still quite functional. But my head feels swollen and gross and my throat hurts persistently and it all just sucks. It would suck less if I could curl up under my new comforter and watch Buffy while drinking tea, but I feel constantly compelled to study, since I have TWO TESTS in the next three days. WHAT. Hate. :(

Castle was win and love and awesome, AS USUAL. Maybe not the most hilarious, but always compelling. I love the whole team soooo much. Only complaint: needs moar Ryan&Esposito bein boyfriends. ♥

I made my first microarray today! And it didn't look all that great. But it didn't fail completely either, so I'm going to change some steps and weeee'll see!

I get to have lunch with Dave tomorrow! Now that the air is cleared between us, I am missing him all the time again. Need moar snuggles. Snuggles might be limited what with me having the plague though. :(

Today in fandom, RAY TORO WAS ADORABLE OMG. The song titles! The sheer glee! They are SO IN LOVE with this record, and I CAN'T WAIT TO BE IN LOVE WITH IT TOO. Eeeee! *GIMMEHANDS*

This is a totally pointless post. I will leave you with this, because it left my head pounding after I dared to laugh at it.



Why are the misspellings STILL HILARIOUS?!? Ahahahaha.

I feel like I should defend my professor's honor here! I was stung a little last night, but it wasn't right of me to complain. He had the best intentions. We had a chat about it today, and he explained that he had basically no time so it was a lot faster for him to just WRITE instead of trying to pick apart my sentences and tweak them. He just thought it would be a good opportunity for us to communicate about how we go about writing things, a sort of give and take, and that he really liked what I had but thought it would be a good exercise to go for conciseness and a good story. (He likes telling stories in science, which is really what it should all be about!)

SO I'm glad we got that cleared up! I no longer feel butthurt and everything is dandy. He did give me a shitload of sciencey things to think about today, including what exactly I want to say with my first paper since we have data that's publishable and just need to add more to it to say something meaningful. Wow! Eep! So I'm going to, like, hole up in a little room and bang my head off this for a while and see if anything comes out. It's kind of terrifying to be the one actually thinking of the science and the conclusions, but I guess that's what getting your PhD is all about? *flails a little bit*

Today, I feel intimidated. But I can do this. I know I can.

(SUPERNATURAL PREMIERE WAS AMAZING LAST NIGHT HOLY SHIT. I will make a post later, because THINGS TO SAY, but I am At Work and therefore being responsible! BUT AMAZING HOLY SHIT. *squeezes all their woobie faces*)

(Random question: Would anyone be interested in me uploading the soundtrack to The Boondock Saints? It was never released officially, but I have all the songs that are played in the film. It's mostly instrumental rock but it's awesome and fun and I think everyone should have it. So let me know if there's interest and I'll upload!)

Regarding the Bones S4 finale: ( Spoilerific )

Guess what you guys! Today I discovered a fellow Bones fan in my lab, and do you want to know how? She declared me KING OF THE LAB! I loled and said "they do that in Bones!" and she said "Hee I know that's where I got it from!" So many heaaaarts! So that was awesome, but so was being made king of the lab, because today I did the test that showed my protein is beautiful and pure, and there's a LOT of it, and everyone's happy and grateful and I am so proud! \o/ Hodgins would gladly pass the crown onto me, I'm sure. :D

I would like to wish the happiest of birthdays to my dear pencil_tricks! I hope it was a good one hon. ♥

So I just watched the first episode of Freaks & Geeks! I got it from Netflix after someone told me that John Francis Daly, aka the weirdly darling Sweets on Bones, was one of the main characters. I've meant to see it for a long time anyway. And omg LOVE. It's so incredible to see all these actors that I know and like as young awkward teens! I think my favorite is Jason Segel - he has the same bearing to himself, the same warmth in his eyes, and I'm just really drawn to him and his humor. James Franco is so the hot bad boy in high school and I would totally have a crush on him. John Francis Daly is tiny and PRECIOUS, and it's totally messing with my head that he has the same sinful mouth but he's like TWELVE. o.O Seth Rogan is stoner hilarity, Linda Cardellini is totally sympathetic and smart but trying not to be THAT girl and OH I FEEL YOU SWEETIE. Basically it is all around awesome and real and fantastic, and I can't wait to watch the rest of it.

I also watched the last two episodes of Dollhouse S1 with my uncle tonight. I don't think he's all too impressed, but I really enjoyed getting the chance to watch it again, because the end really really does leave me with that desire for MORE. I would have been gutted if it had just ended there, and probably kind of forgotten about it. It's like if Buffy had just been season 1, you know??? Not all things are Firefly, perfection from the first second. Most things take time to find their sea legs, and I can really see that starting to happen at the end of Dollhouse S1. In particular, I REALLY want to get to know Topher better. They started to give him some truly fascinating layers in the last few episodes, and he was always my favorite anyway. Then there's Whiskey and Paul and Boyd and Alpha and Caroline and Victor and I'm just interested in everyone, not even close to satisfied. I can has S2 nao?! Or first, episode 13! I'm definitely excited for that one.

I would like to note that I LOVE LOVE LOVE both of the Cobras' new songs. Good Girls Go Bad is fantastic fun, but I like Pete Wentz is the Reason We're Famous even more. I don't know why! Something about the rhythm and the guitar heavy riff. It makes me dance around while I fold my laundry! \o/ I am pleased as punch and can't WAIT for the rest of the album.

I had another successful day in the lab! It started with a "lab meeting," which is basically one lab member presenting their recent work to the rest of the lab. Today it was Paul presenting his work on developing a new therapeutic strategy for targeting HIV! It was really fascinating stuff and I think they might actually be onto something. But what I also found interesting that this guy, a fourth year PhD student and about to graduate soon, still had trouble answering questions sometimes and took suggestions from other people on future directions for his work. Basically, he didn't seem like a crazy genius. I've always sort of imagined near-finished PhD students as being intimidatingly expert, and I suppose many of them are, but they're still, like, young people and students! I think I can manage that. ;) I'm actually pretty sure that I can do this thing, which is not something I was really certain about. Still not, but getting more confident! Science went quite well today again (I think) and I learned several new techniques, again! Biochem is such a cornucopia of tools, you can be doing completely different things every day, which I just LOVE. \o/

Harry Potter this week omg! I have to work up the nerve to text that guy I met and ask him if he wants to see it with me. I can't imagine why he'd say no! That should be fun yay. :D

One thing that's bringing me great joy, completely randomly, is the Friends blooper reels on Youtube. Here are the Season 8 ones, and there are links to others there. The whole cast is just so hilarious, obviously! Side splitting laughter, every single time. Heeeeee.

Hope you're all fine and dandy. I'm entirely behind on LJ, again. I think this is going to be a theme of grad school, I'm afraid. :( Not surprising, but quite sad. I'll probably still post because I'm self-indulgent like that, and I love having the record that LJ leaves behind, but I'm afraid I'm going to fall behind on all other things - commenting, your lives, fic reading, everything. Boo. Hopefully you'll still love me? :)?